


Sweet Dreams

by forbiddengarnet



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nibelheim Memories, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Science Experiments, Zack Fair Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:54:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 28,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24865633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/forbiddengarnet/pseuds/forbiddengarnet
Summary: Cloud wakes up from his mako coma, and Zack's right there for him. With this chance at a new future together, it's time for them to recover, and build a reputation as the slums' new merc team. At least that was the plan...How would Zack’s survival possibly change the events of the story?
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 33
Kudos: 173





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to TheBlackMorals for taking the time to beta read this!

After what felt like forever in this complete darkness, with only fleeting moments of very vague mindfulness, consciousness was slowly beginning to return more to Cloud. His mind caught a glimpse of a chance, and clawed its way back to reality. And as he returned to consciousness more, ever so slowly, he began to pick up on some outside influences; a solid surface against his back, a softer, warm surface against his side, his body slumped against it. The air felt stuffy to breathe, but the warmth beside him felt… different. Reassuring.  
  
His mind tried to branch out more, to take in what feeling it could pick up on. It was quiet around him, the only sound slow, steady breathing next to him. His limbs were initially unresponsive, but if he just kept… on… _trying_. With a ridiculous amount of effort he managed to lift a hand just a little, fingers curling and uncurling as he let the hand rest again. He wanted to try to move more, but for now that was good enough. Next were the eyes. Again he was only capable of slowly opening them, only a little, and he was rewarded with only a dark blur. Try that again later. Why was it so difficult for him to move? A memory came back, one in which he saw and reached out for someone with black hair who was walking away. It was only a brief memory before it faded back to black, but the image of that man clung to his mind.  
  
“ _Zack…_ ” he whispered, his mind catching up only a second later that his lips had actually moved. Before he could dwell on the thought and possibly try again, he felt the warm surface next to him stir. “Huh?” a strikingly familiar voice ‘asked’, and somewhere in Cloud’s mind an alarm went off. A _good_ alarm, one that urged him to try even harder to crawl out of this mental slump and _move_ , and this name was the only word on his mind right then. “Zack,” he said again, above a whisper, and he moved his hand again slowly, but with renewed vigour. “Cloud? Holy crap, you’re awake! Woah, sorry!” he heard as the surface next to him disappeared, but his body was quickly stopped from tipping to the side as the original support was gone. Feeling a warm hand on his cheek, his head was being tilted up, and he took that moment to try open his eyes again. He knew that voice, it was the only thing that had ever made it through to his subconsciousness throughout this eternity of darkness. Wherever he was now, he wasn’t there alone - he had someone familiar here, and that alone gave him a small surge of energy. It took a moment for the blur to cease and his vision to focus, but when it did, he found someone looking back at him with a mix of excitement, concern and exhaustion. Those latter two emotions quickly made way for a radiant, pure smile that he remembered only ever seeing on Zack.  
  
The Zack he saw now, though, crouching in front of him, still had that tiredness lingering in his eyes, remaining cuts and bruises on his face and arms hinting at the story behind them. The black haired man he remembered reaching out to had been Zack - what had happened after? Unable to take his eyes off the other, Cloud slowly raised a heavy arm, his hand once again reaching out for Zack. This time the other didn’t disappear - this time his bare hand returned the gesture, finally resting against the other’s injured cheek. The corners of his lips curled up into a small smile entirely on their own as Zack’s other hand cupped the back of his own, head turning to press an affectionate kiss to the palm. “I missed you, Cloud,” Zack spoke, his voice heavy with a number of emotions. “I missed you,” Cloud managed to say, with a little more energy in his own voice despite how hoarse it sounded from disuse. “How long…?” Speaking hurt in his dry throat, but he _needed_ to know how long he’d been in this state of… what? What had happened? He knew Zack had talked to him a lot during the time he’d been unconscious, but had he ever mentioned what had happened?  
  
He watched Zack sigh, and press another kiss to the palm before he moved to sit closer again, while still facing Cloud. It was only now that Cloud realised neither of them were wearing gloves nor shoulder pads that he remembered seeing with Zack’s uniform. “Around a year. That mako poisoning really had you. No surprise, really, after those four years in Hojo’s lab… I mean, you weren’t used to mako. The past few weeks you slipped in and out of consciousness more often, but yeah, I’m glad you’re fully back now. I really, _really_ missed you.” Five years? He had missed _five years_ together with Zack? And what about this past year during which Zack had been conscious? His mind had an easier time taking in information, while his body still found it difficult to move easily. “We’re in Midgar now. We finally made it! I think the Turks gave a helping hand in us getting in, but we made it to an old shack in the slums. It’s not much, but it’s a start. We can become the new merc dream team of the slums,” Zack went on more enthusiastically with a grin back on his lips. That’s right, mercs. He remembered Zack talking about something like that - it was one of the things the other had planned for them. One of the many things told to an unresponsive boyfriend. Cloud remembered that, too - their time together before their mission in Nibelheim. Though now, the only memory lingering when he thought of Nibelheim was fire, chaos, and Sephiroth. He had finished what Zack had begun, and after that there was complete darkness.  
  
"The Turks… helped?" he asked then, his voice still scratchy, and Zack seemed to realise the difficulty to speak only now. "Maybe, yeah. You remember Tseng, right? The Turk with us on our first mission together? He's a good guy, I can imagine him turning a blind eye on us. And Cissnei, she actually let us escape whenever we ran into her. They're just doing their job, but they're only human, too," Zack chatted while he helped Cloud drink water from a bottle. The water felt good, despite being lukewarm, and his throat was thankful for it. "It's getting kinda late now, I think. Hard to say down here under the plates without a watch. Tomorrow morning we'll see about getting you walking by yourself. Then we can explore our new home together, right?" Zack went on, and it was exactly this energy and positivity that Cloud had missed even in _wherever_ his mind had been these past years. And he couldn't help but smile back at the other, and nodded his agreement.  
  
His eyes lingered on Zack's face a moment longer before he reached out again. "You were hurt," he stated the obvious, his thumb tracing one faint cut across the cheek. He didn't miss that smile falter a bit, if only for a moment. "Eh, just another little run in with Shinra," Zack shrugged off the encounter that had very nearly killed him. This time he remained quiet for a moment, thoughtful, before he spoke up again. "After that fight, there was some kinda explosion here in Midgar, and some sparkles rained down, that was pretty strange… But maybe that was just my imagination, trick of the eyes kinda thing," he concluded, fingers linking with Cloud's. That wouldn’t explain the explosion that had knocked him off his feet, but right then he had more important matters to tend to, namely Cloud. "But enough of that, those Shinra grunts were no match for me, so don't worry. We should probably get some proper sleep now, I kinda fell asleep before we could lie down," the older elaborated with a sheepish smile, having only wanted to rest for a moment when he sat next to Cloud, rather than fall asleep like that.  
  
This already was a good first chance for Cloud to try to move more by himself, though he still was slow and required some assistance. There wasn't much in the room, but an old mattress along one wall. That would be plenty for this night, and with how exhausted Zack obviously still was - rightly so - they could make due with what they had until other opportunities arose. Besides, they were used to far worse sleeping conditions, had been even before the incident in Nibelheim. With heavy limbs Cloud crawled those few feet towards the mattress, Zack helping to keep him upright until they could just collapse on the old piece of furniture. Dropping onto his side, the blonde unceremoniously draped his arm over Zack's waist, who in turn huddled up closer, more comfortably, holding the younger close. Cloud was sure they'd laid like this often in the past year, though he couldn't remember, so he embraced these feelings it gave him now - security, warmth, strength, hope. He couldn't count the amount of times they had fallen asleep together like this in the past, in the safety of Zack's quarters, but right now the feeling was so much stronger. They had escaped Shinra, and were now being hunted down like high level criminals. But they would make it, maybe get hold of new IDs, though apparently some among the Turks actually were supportive to them. All these thoughts were beginning to give him a headache.  
  
"Hey Cloud, we'll do this together, right? This merc life? I didn't really let you have a say," Zack asked after a few moments of silence, almost sounding unsure now. It reminded Cloud of people in Shinra calling Zack a puppy, and the memory made the corners of his lips curl into a soft smile. "Of course. I'll stay right by your side," Cloud promised, and though there was so much more he wanted to say, it felt like that was all that was necessary. His words were rewarded with a bright smile, and bare fingers brushing his hair back affectionately. "Right! We should totally go see Aerith soon. My friend in Sector 5, remember? Maybe she can help us get started. Oh, and we’ll get a hold of Kunsel, he'll keep us updated from inside the company. He and some of the guys sometimes sneak off to Wall Market, so that should be easy enough. That's probably also the place to go for new IDs, the dodgy place. Ah, here I go again, planning way ahead," he laughed as he caught himself rambling, already excited about their future together in this new found freedom. Cloud listened to it all, the smile still on his lips as he watched his boyfriend. "No, I like it," he assured, long used to the other's seemingly boundless energy - _seemingly_ , but Cloud knew better. "You need to rest first," he reminded the other, and watched Zack nod his agreement with an excited yet tired smile still lingering. He didn’t know how many Shinra soldiers the other had fought last, but going by the cuts and bruises he still saw now, and their long trek, he could only imagine the other’s exhaustion. They just watched each other for a moment or two, before Zack leaned in for a lingering kiss - their first _real_ kiss in five years.  
  
"Thank you, for everything," the younger said in close to a whisper when they eventually parted. He knew that without Zack, he wouldn't have survived any of this. The other had quite literally dragged him across countries, for close to a whole year, all the way into Midgar, while fighting off Shinra's army. There was no way Cloud could ever make it up to Zack, but he would do whatever he possibly could. "I'm just happy you're back with me," the older stated with his bright smile right back, tapping the side of Cloud's head to indicate what he meant. And with that, their lips were connected in a new slow kiss full of more emotions than either of them were capable of putting into words. Exhaustion caught up not long after, and they fell asleep curled up together, with the promise of a new day, the beginning of a new life beginning tomorrow morning.  
  


* * *

  
~*~ Cloud woke with a start. “Zack?” was the first word his mouth blurted out as he woke, and his head bumped back against a solid surface. “Careful, Cloud,” Tifa chided in a whisper from where she pushed herself up from the floor a few feet away, and she quietly moved closer to him, wiping sleep from her eyes while he rubbed the back of his head. He remembered then - they had just left Midgar, after their encounters with the Whispers and Sephiroth. They had to seek refuge in a cave on the way as the rain became heavier, and had decided to stay put until the next morning before they would continue. He remembered falling asleep sitting near the cave’s entrance, as the rock behind him so kindly reminded him.  
  
“Had a bad dream?” she asked as she settled to sit next to him, looking at him with a hint of worry, “I already was awake, and suddenly you snapped awake like that.” Cloud thought for a moment, trying to remember his dream, but most of it already faded away. With a slight frown he tried to grasp bits of it, but they just slipped away. The last bit of memory to fade was that of a bright, almost carefree smile, and he shook his head. “No, it’s fine. Something just made me jump. You know I’m a light sleeper,” he brushed off, deciding to ignore Tifa’s knowing look as she hummed her understanding. “Cloud, we should--” she began, only to be cut off by her friend. “We should set out soon. I’ll have a look around the area outside, you wake the others,” he said as he stood, and effortlessly picked up his sword to take his leave. He knew Tifa had often tried to talk to him about the time after he’d left Nibelheim to join Shinra, but he simply wasn’t comfortable with talking about, well, any of that. He didn’t want to talk. “Be careful…” Tifa said quietly as she watched him leave the cave, silently wondering what the other’s dream of Zack had been about. ~*~


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Cloud finally have the chance to talk more about what had happened to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was MEANT to be a one-shot when I wrote the first chapter, but guess what - it escalated into a multi-chapter story that I'm super excited about! Our boys are in for a ride full of ups and downs!
> 
> As always, a huge thanks goes to TheBlackMorals for beta reading!

When Cloud woke again, full consciousness came easier than it had the evening before. His mind wasn’t as foggy, and the warmth against him felt like home. Cloud could hear the soft, even breathing from his boyfriend, and that alone was enough for the corners of his lips to curl up into a small smile. He could hear sounds of life outside the shack they currently inhabited, but for now he only cared about Zack.  
  
Opening his eyes, the first thing Cloud saw was Zack still sound asleep next to him. He didn't want to wake the older man up, so Cloud opted to just close his eyes again for a little while longer, and bask in these feelings of comfort, familiarity and security. For five long years he hadn’t been able to huddle up against Zack. They were probably still far from safe now that they were in Midgar, right under Shinra's nose, but he felt like they had been given a second chance on life. Cloud absolutely wanted to make the most of this chance, too, and would cherish every moment he got to share with Zack.  
  
It only took a few more minutes for Zack to stir awake as well, mako eyes meeting mako eyes as Cloud looked back at his boyfriend, and there was that radiant smile again. "It wasn't just another dream, you're really back," Zack said with that smile of his, his bare hand reaching up to rest on Cloud’s warm cheek instead. Cloud wore a softer smile, his arm around his boyfriend tightening a bit as he closed the small distance between their lips for a good morning kiss. His fingers curled to clutch at the SOLDIER issued shirt Zack was still wearing, almost as if afraid that this really was just a dream, and he would lose Zack any moment now. But Cloud’s mind felt clearer now than it had the previous night, and his hand felt easier to move as his thumb brushed affectionately over the other man's cheekbone. " _Here to stay_ ," Cloud whispered against the other pair of lips with a smile. He _was_ back, and he would do what he could to recover quickly and finally live his life together with Zack.  
  
They stayed like that for a little while longer, cuddled up together on the old mattress while the sounds from the world outside filtered through the cracked window. This shack was in about as bad a state as the mattress was, the tiny bathroom far from inviting, but there were luckily no rats around (right now), and it was only a temporary shelter for them, anyway. It was as far as Zack had had the energy to bring them the previous evening, but neither of them complained.  
  
"Should we try and see if you can walk?" Zack asked, and Cloud remembered Zack suggesting the night before that they could try that today. He gave his boyfriend a doubtful look. "I'll be happy if I can even stand, but let's try," he agreed, and reluctantly let Zack move from their makeshift bed to stand next to Cloud, ready to help.   
  
Cloud shifted, arms moving underneath himself to push his upper body up. It was more difficult than he thought just to sit up on his knees, and it took some more effort still to stay upright in that position. Zack encouraged him, hands staying close to catch Cloud in case he toppled over, or to offer support. Cloud remembered crawling through the room to the mattress the night before, so he knew his legs were generally capable of carrying him from one place to another. Using one of Zack's arms as a lever, Cloud willed his body to slowly stand up, but halfway there, his legs buckled and gave way. Zack was quick to catch him, thankfully, and gently guide him back down to sit on the ground. "That's totally okay, Cloud, you did great. We'll try again later," Zack encouraged with a bright smile as he crouched in front of Cloud, and ruffled his blonde, soft hair.  
  
Usually this failure would have frustrated Cloud, but he had predicted he wouldn’t be able to just casually stand up yet, anyway, so he was prepared. Still, a small part of him had hoped that maybe he would at least get to stand up fully, but his muscles very quickly reminded him that they needed to get used to carrying his weight again. Thoughtfully looking down at his legs, he blinked when some loose strands of hair were suddenly brushed away from his face, warm lips pressing an affectionate kiss to his forehead. It made him look up again, face just inches away from his boyfriend’s, just a moment before their lips met in a sweet kiss. “I’ll go scout the area, and get us some breakfast,” Zack said after the kiss ended, and Zack’s smile seemed a new permanent on his lips now. It had Cloud return the smile, and he nodded his agreement before he stole another kiss from his boyfriend.  
  
A few minutes later he watched Zack move about the small room as he put the shoulder armour and gloves on, and hefted the heavy Buster Sword onto his back. Zack looked more rested now compared last night. “Be careful out there, yeah?” Cloud said, eyes following Zack who now moved to crouch down in front of him, with the sword tilted in its place not to get stuck on the wooden floor. After all, they had just arrived in Midgar early last night, for the first time in five years, and neither of them knew of the current situation with Shinra. “I will, don’t worry about me. And you’re safe here,” Zack said with his trademark smile back on his lips, and just a moment later those lips were pressed against Cloud’s for a final kiss.  
  


* * *

  
Zack returned a short while later with something for them to eat, but left again shortly after. Cloud tried not to feel useless with his current inability to help Zack get things arranged for them, such as finding a better place for them to stay at or picking up mercenary work. He knew there was no use in beating himself up over this handicap, that he should put that energy into recovering. Somehow Cloud felt a different energy inside of him that he couldn’t fully grasp or define yet. He had very vague memories from his time with Hojo in the laboratory, but at this point they were still hazy at best. Cloud didn’t _really_ want to remember any of that, but at the same time he wanted to know what had happened to him and Zack - what might have changed. Luckily now they would have the time to sit and talk.  
  


* * *

  
It was the late afternoon early evening when Zack returned again, a happy smile on his lips when he saw Cloud by a wall, trying to push himself up. “Hey Cloud, how’s it going?” Zack asked as he walked over to Cloud, who in turn let himself slide down the wall to sit again with something close to a pout on his lips. He picked up Cloud’s discarded boots on the way, and crouched down in front of his boyfriend. “Could be better,” Cloud shrugged, but that pout quickly melted away when he felt Zack’s lips against his own. “It _will_ get better, I promise,” Zack said with an encouraging smile as he put Cloud’s boots down next to him. “Come on, we’re going to a different place.” That piqued Cloud’s curiosity, and he put on his boots while he watched Zack collect their few belongings - Cloud’s shoulder pads and gloves, as well as a small bag Zack had brought back with him containing drinks and snacks. “Where to?” Cloud asked, and took hold of the items as they were being held out for him. “To an old church up the road,” Zack said as he crouched down next to Cloud, and helped him up the way he was used to - one of Cloud’s arms held around his neck, and his own arm looped around Cloud’s waist. This way Cloud would also be able to test his legs more, without having to carry his the entirety of his own weight.  
  
“We’re already in Sector 5, so it’s really not far from here. I visited Aerith earlier - remember that church I used to meet her in? She offered to let us stay there. She even offered to let us stay with her and her mom, but… it'll be safer for them both if we stay somewhere else. The church will be a temporary camp as well, but it’ll be a lot better than the shack. Once you can walk better, we can maybe move to the upper floor. She’ll visit us as soon as she can, said she’s looking forward to finally meeting you. I’m sure you’ll get along great,” Zack chatted away as they slowly made their way out of the shack, and up the cluttered path. He carried most of Cloud’s weight, but Zack made sure to also give him the chance to walk at his own pace.  
  
Cloud was concentrating hard on moving his legs and holding what little weight Zack gave him to carry, while trying to listen to Zack. He had heard a lot about Aerith in the past, but had never had the time or the chance to actually meet her. These weren’t the best circumstances under which they would finally be able to finally meet each other, but he was looking forward to it no less. Cloud knew she’d been an important friend to Zack, and he had always been curious to meet her. And though he also knew she used to have a crush on Zack, he had never felt jealous - he had always trusted his boyfriend completely, so he had never doubted that she was merely a good friend to Zack. He offered Zack a soft smile. “I can’t wait to meet her. You've told me so much about her, she sounds really nice,” Cloud said, and Zack nodded eagerly with a grin.  
  
The walk to the church took longer than it would have under normal circumstances, but neither of them felt like they were in any rush. They were safe, and the few people they passed on the way didn’t bother them. And when they did eventually reach and walk through the old, run down church, Cloud was surprised to find a patch of beautiful yellow flowers in front of the altar. But not only that, to the right of the flowerbed was a makeshift living space with a somewhat more comfortable looking mattress than the one they had in the shack, pillows and a cover, as well as some very basic living utensils. Zack had obviously been busy that day, getting everything prepared, and Cloud couldn’t help but feel guilty for not being able to help yet.  
  
“Aww maaan, looks like we missed her,” Zack said when he apparently spotted a small box by their new temporary bed, which hadn’t been there when he had left the church earlier. Zack carefully let Cloud down to sit on the front pew before he went to read the note on top of the box, and Cloud watched the expression on his boyfriend’s face brighten immediately. “She left us some sandwiches! She’s a lifesaver, a pure angel! She writes she’ll visit us tomorrow afternoon, so we have time to get settled first,” Zack said, and peeked into the box impatiently before he picked it up, and carried it to the pew Cloud was sitting on. “We have running water in a back room, so we can have a wash and clean our clothes later. And once you’re more steady on your legs, we can move upstairs. It’s nothing grand, but it’ll get us started, and we’ve got plenty of space to train as well. Well, once you have a weapon. I think you’d be great with a sword. Remember the times we trained together at HQ with Kunsel? You’d handled his sword great when he let you use it, I think you still got what it takes,” Zack chatted cheerfully as he sat down as well, then urged Cloud to take a sandwich, and took one for himself after.  
  
Cloud nodded thoughtfully, so many other things on his mind right then - all the work Zack must have put into preparing their little living space in this church, their future, the year they’d spent escaping to Midgar, the _four_ years of them being experimented on, and the state his body currently was in. He _felt_ different from his time as a simple infantryman. During his time with Shinra, Cloud had heard rumours of the odd rare case of people having woken up from mako poisoning, but their bodies and minds had lost most of their functions. And yet here he was, after having had a bad case of mako poisoning, left in a fairly good condition. Sure, he couldn’t walk on his own yet, but other than that there wasn’t anything else that indicated that he had been poisoned. On the inside he could practically feel how his body was trying to improve the strength in his legs, as well as in his overall body. He had felt it earlier in the shack, but somehow he had the impression that it was amplified here in the church. It was a strange sensation, but if it helped, he would gladly welcome it.  
  
“-oud? Gaia to Cloud, hello~~” That, and a hand waving in his line of vision finally snapped Cloud back to the present, and he looked up at Zack confused. “You okay there?” Zack asked concerned, and it was only then that Cloud realised he hadn’t even taken a single bite of his sandwich, while Zack had already finished half of his. Blinking nonplussed, Cloud nodded. “Yeah, sorry, just been thinking…” he mumbled awkwardly, realising he had zoned out when Zack began to talk about their future plans. Cloud finally took a bite as well, and only noticed then how hungry he actually was. They hadn’t eaten much during the day, but thankfully Aerith had prepared a fair amount of sandwiches for them, leaving them with breakfast for the following morning as well. “Mind if I ask what about?” Zack asked carefully, pulling Cloud from his thoughts once again. Cloud mentally scolded himself for zoning out _twice_ within mere moments. He really had to stop doing that.  
  
Cloud shifted a bit as he tried to sort through his thoughts and took another bite of the sandwich, all the while watching Zack take two water bottles out of the plastic bag Cloud had carried to the church earlier. “Do you know what exactly happened to us in that lab?” Cloud finally settled on asking, and he didn’t miss the flash of discomfort in Zack’s expression. There was a prolonged silence while Zack seemed to think of how to answer that heavy question. “Do you remember anything?” Zack asked while he distractedly picked at what was left of his sandwich. Somehow fidgeting wasn’t like Zack, though at the same time it was _absolutely_ like him.  
  
Thinking back, Cloud frowned a bit as he tried to recall anything from their captivity. There was a complete blank after his last memories in Nibelheim - he remembered confronting Sephiroth. Cloud had always idolised Sephiroth, had wanted to become like him, but that day something in the General had snapped. _Cloud remembered the village burning, his mother’s screams filtering through all those other screams he heard coming from the flames. Then the memory of finding Tifa and Zack injured at the reactor… His attack on Sephiroth… Sephiroth, carrying a woman’s head, impaling Cloud with his sword… Throwing his idol into the mako pit… A vague memory of what he recognised to have been Professor Hojo saying something about ‘test subjects’… And then…_ A piercing headache hit him as new memories emerged. “We were strapped down… They needed heavy chains to keep you down. There were… needles, scalpels. I remember feeling sick and dizzy, and everything hurt. And… I saw you through some kind of glass, I couldn’t get to you,” Cloud recalled with his frown deepening, and he noticed only now that he was holding his head from that bolt of pain that shot through it just moments ago. He looked up when Zack’s warm, gloveless hand took hold of his, and gently guided it down without letting go. After all the bright smiles Cloud was used to seeing on his boyfriend’s face, this saddened expression looked completely out of place.  
  
“Yeah… Your body didn’t take well to the mako infusions. I think they gave us a similar treatment to that which SOLDIERs usually receive, and did some experiments to test how long our bodies took to heal. They kept us separated in empty pods when they weren’t working on us. I didn’t have time to read our full reports, but there was also something about S-Cells and some Reunion Theory, no idea what that was about. We were deemed as _failures_ \- probably ‘cause I was already used to the infusions, and your body couldn’t handle them. After that, they kept us in mako filled pods,” Zack explained what he had gathered from his own, clearer memories, and the reports in the laboratory before they had escaped. While Zack recollected what had happened, he kept his eyes on their still linked hands, his thumb playing with Cloud’s fingers - fidgeting again. They remained silent for a long moment before Zack finally looked up. “You also have mako eyes,” he said, pointing a finger at his own eyes with the hand that still held the rest of his sandwich.  
  
Cloud listened through the buzzing that went through his head as more and more memories were visualised. Of Zack pulling one arm loose from his first, ordinary restraints and grabbing for a scientist’s throat, and the other scientists breaking out into a panic to get the situation under control. Professor Hojo’s grimace hovering over him. His head still ached, but the pain lessened the more Cloud focused on their linked hands. Cloud hadn’t had the chance to look into a mirror yet, as there hadn’t been one in the tiny bathroom in the shack, so he hadn’t seen his own eyes. When Cloud had still been an infantryman, his body had been deemed unfit to go through the SOLDIER treatment, and military regulations had kept him safe from being exposed to mako infusions. It was a wonder that he had even survived the ordeal with Professor Hojo at all. He had wanted to become a SOLDIER 1st Class, yes, but not like _this_.  
  
After a few long moments of silence, Cloud finally looked up at Zack again, his hand giving Zack’s a soft squeeze. Cloud could see in Zack’s eyes that he was somewhere far away from the present, probably stuck on a memory from their time in the laboratory. “Zack?” he asked, his boyfriend’s expression somehow even sadder than it had been before. That seemed to snap Zack out of his thoughts, and he shook his head. “This is all my fault. I shouldn’t have told you to go in after Sephiroth. I should’ve told you to go call for backup or something. We got into this mess because of me,” Zack said, making Cloud frown. Try as he might, Cloud couldn’t imagine the situation in Nibelheim having gone any other way than it had. “You’re wrong, it wasn’t your fault. I would’ve gone after him either way. Sephiroth burnt down my village, killed my mother, and nearly killed you and Tifa - there’s no _way_ I would’ve run away,” Cloud said with his frown still in place, his voice full of stern conviction.  
  
Zack held their eye contact for a moment before he averted his eyes. That was enough to tell Cloud that Zack didn’t fully believe him, so he put down the rest of his sandwich, and reached out to cup Zack’s cheek, tilting his head up for their eyes to meet again. “Zack, stop that. Look at me. It wasn’t your fault - honestly. You think I would've just run away if you had told me to?” he asked, watching Zack for a brief moment before his boyfriend shook his head. “Good, 'cause I would've ignored you. Sephiroth paid for what he did, he had to. Had I left to call for reinforcements, they would’ve been too late, and Sephiroth would’ve probably killed you on his way out.”  
  
Unlinking their hands, Zack cupped Cloud’s hand on his cheek, and turned his head to be able to press a kiss to his palm. “You’re the purest of all angels, you know that?” Zack said, and finally a soft smile returned to his lips as his eyes met Cloud’s again. It also brought a smile back to Cloud's lips, too, and he shook his head with a smile. “I think that title goes to you. As well as the biggest lifesaver. Thanks for bringing me here, Zack,” Cloud said, feeling like there was no way he could ever make it up to Zack, all the things he had gone through to get them both to Midgar alive. Cloud moved his hand from Zack’s cheek to the back of his neck, and pulled him in for a long, soft kiss.  
  
The mood shifted to a lighter one after that, as they tried not to let what had happened in the past few years have too much control over them. They continued to eat, Zack readily diving back into talking about all sorts of plans and ideas for their future, and this time Cloud didn’t zone out, but made some suggestions of his own. It was a good distraction. They had something to look forward to now, something for them to build together: once Cloud recovered enough and had a sword, they would pick up training together for their project ‘Merc Dream Team of the Slums’. They had lost so much that day in Nibelheim - family, friends, the lives they had led until then, their sense of security - and Cloud would let himself properly mourn his mother soon, too, but they would continue fighting to rebuild their lives.  
  
Later that evening, they finally made good use of the amenities the bathroom in the back of the church offered. It wasn’t like there was a proper shower or a bath there, but they could easily make due with what they had. Zack had always made sure to take any chance that arose on their journey to Midgar, but they were overdue for a wash now. The soap and shampoo were also courtesy of Aerith, Zack said as they washed up, and Cloud insisted on helping with getting their clothes washed after. It was a bit chilly in the church once they hung their clothes out to dry during the night, but thankfully their new camp offered comfortable, warm covers. Not that they really needed it, what with all the mako in their blood keeping them fairly warm, but it was a welcome comfort. Also, that blanket was certainly an upgrade from the shack they had spent their first night back in Midgar in, and though Cloud was looking forward to them finding an actual apartment together, he was surprisingly comfortable here in the church. There was something about this place…  
  
Settled in bed, Cloud was nestled with his back against Zack, strong arms around him, with them both comfortably cocooned by the cover. They were facing the flowerbed, and with the artificial light from the overhead dimmed sun lamps hanging on the upper plate shining through the windows and holes in the roof, Cloud was able to watch the flowers silently, thoughtfully. It was so rare to find flowers in Midgar, especially in the slums. They grew freely in Nibelheim, stronger flowers and plants able to resist the local climate, but now that he thought about it, this was the first time he had ever seen any in Midgar. In this church, out of all places - which only added to the strange feeling he had about this place.  
  
“Hey Zack,” he began, and he heard a tired “Hm?” from behind him, proving that Zack was still awake. “This church, is there something particularly special about it?” There was a moment of silence, broken as Zack hummed in thought. “I dunno, not that I know of. Aerith tends to the flowers here, and keeps the church kinda clean - I mean, as clean as ruins can be kept, right?” Zack said before he nuzzled Cloud’s by now only slightly damp hair, and pressed a kiss to the back of his boyfriend’s head. “But I always feel sort of relaxed when I’m here,” he added on an afterthought, and Cloud hummed his understanding. He thought for another moment before he spoke again. “It feels like there’s this… uhm, energy? Like something’s helping me energise? I don’t know how to put it,” Cloud tried to articulate this strange, yet positive feeling he had noticed throughout the evening. Zack took a moment longer to answer, apparently trying to think of what kind of energy Cloud might be feeling. “Maybe it’s the mako working on your recovery?” he suggested the only reasonable explanation he could come up with. Cloud considered it, his fingers playing with the ones they were laced with. “Maybe… This just feels kinda different, warmer. Nicer.”  
  
This time Zack didn’t take more than two seconds to think of a reply. “Maybe… it feels warmer and nicer ‘cause you’re here with _me_ ,” he proposed, obviously sure that that was the reason, and he held Cloud tighter against him. Cloud chuckled, and finally took his eyes off the flowerbed to turn around until he faced Zack, who was easily a much better view. “Yeah, that must be it,” Cloud agreed with a smile as he huddled up close to Zack, their arms looping around each other.  
  
Cloud was greeted by Zack’s bright smile in the dim light, the same smile that had cheered him up so many times in the past. Despite everything that had happened to them over the past five years, Zack was still able to smile like that, and it still had the same positive, uplifting effect on Cloud as it had before their lives had been turned upside down. “I love you, Zack,” Cloud said, keeping his voice down in their close proximity as he brushed his hand up his boyfriend’s warm, lean back. He couldn’t even imagine a reality in which he wouldn’t be able to say those words to Zack, and in which he wouldn’t be able to see that smile again. Cloud instantly returned the kiss claimed from his lips, and the kiss was only broken for Zack to whisper an “ _I love you_ ,” back as they held each other close, resuming their kiss.   
  
They were at the beginning of a new journey, and now that he was fully conscious and working on recovering his strength, Cloud vowed to himself to support Zack in whatever new challenges they would be facing.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In a timeline in which Zack is alive and well, Tseng would not carry the self-imposed burden of having failed Zack. Would Tseng retain a little more of his humanity from before the Nibelheim incident?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TheBlackMorals for taking the time to beta read this!

_A soft, greenish glow lit up around him, in the midst of the night. It was hazy for the most part, but that energy… Such warmth, at the same time a slight tingling sensation. A warmth unlike that of the familiar body next to him. This feeling came from the inside, traversing through his every limb. It soothed his muscles and his mind - things will turn out alright, just hang on. He basked in this comforting sensation a little longer before darkness overtook him once again.  
  
_

* * *

  
Cloud had meant what he had said the previous day, there really was something regenerating about this church. He could feel it in his body, in his muscles, from the moment he woke the next morning. Cloud felt far from _strong_ , but certainly more energised than the evening before. It made him want to try to stand and walk without aid again, more earnestly, after Zack left the church later that morning. From their makeshift bed to… the closest pew, that could work. It would only be a few steps, but more than what he was used to walking on his own these days. Cloud stood slowly, unsteadily as a fawn on its first attempt to stand, but he willed his legs to carry his body on their own. It was a bit of a struggle, but with each step his legs seemed to be remembering and regaining the ability to walk on their own, little by little. Though at the same time it felt like his muscles were becoming the slightest bit stronger, he mused, and let himself drop onto the pew once he finally reached it. Amazed at this unexpected progress, he looked from his legs to the flowerbed in front of him, silently wondering for a few moments about the possibility that this church really held some secret powers.  
  
It was a silly thought, he decided. Zack was right, maybe it really was the mako inside him that… kicked into gear to help his body recover faster. He remembered seeing cuts and bruises on Zack in the past, and even when Zack had still been a SOLDIER 2nd Class his injuries had healed impossibly quick. Flowers or some run down church could not possibly have an effect on a person’s ability to recover. He had to keep practising, and keep moving, and the mako would do the rest.  
  
Lost in thought, Cloud failed to hear the quiet, soft footsteps that carried through the church down the aisle. “Cloud Strife.” The smooth, strangely familiar voice brought Cloud back to the present, and his head snapped around to see who had spoken. A man in a tailored, smart black suit, with long black hair, and sharp eyes - one of Shinra’s Turks. _Shinra!_ Cloud reacted on instinct, a sudden surge of adrenaline making him stand quickly with the intent to flee, but his legs missed his brain’s command. Stumbling over his own legs, Cloud toppled and fell to the ground. Glancing behind him, the Turk was close now, coming to a halt only a few feet away to calmly watch Cloud struggling to back away. This instinct to flee made Cloud completely forget what Zack had said about the Turks; he just wanted to get away from Shinra. His heart racing in his chest, in this fight-or-flight moment Cloud could do neither.  
  
“I’m not here to harm you,” the man spoke, which seemed to break the spell Cloud’s instinct had him under. Cloud stopped backing off, and carefully watched the man sit where he himself had sat just moments ago, one leg crossing over the other, and arms folded neatly on top. And it was then that Cloud finally allowed himself to consciously look at the man, and place a name to the face that looked so familiar to him. The Turk granted him the time necessary, and after a few moments the memory slowly resurfaced. “You’re Tseng, right? The Turk? I remember you with a ponytail,” he asked carefully, and Tseng gave a slight nod with the tiniest smile. “Funny that you would remember that,” Tseng said with a hint of amusement in his voice. Not sure what else to say, Cloud remained quiet while the Turk watched him with a neutral expression. It slowly put Cloud more on edge, though, as he completely failed to read Tseng. Was he planning to eliminate him and Zack after all? Or worse, hand them over to Shinra? Use him as a bait to capture Zack? Cloud remembered this same air of absolute authority about Tseng from a past mission they’d been on together, and he felt as intimidated by it now as he had then. It was downright unnerving, as if the man could see right into his mind.  
  
As Tseng observed Cloud sitting on the floor in front of him, obviously still very sick and too weak to properly walk more than five steps, he wondered. Over the past year, Tseng had only really heard through Cissnei’s reports how Zack had dragged his catatonic infantry friend across the continents. Tseng remembered the young man from a mission to Modeoheim a few years back, where Cloud and Zack had met for the first time and instantly clicked.  
  
A few days ago he had had Reno and Rude stationed near the Midgar border, to give Tseng the signal when Zack and Cloud were close enough to it for him to disengage the Sector’s security sensors and cameras. Had he only targeted the border’s security, it would have been too suspicious, after all - a Sector-wide malfunction was less so, and it caused enough chaos for the security team not to pay too much attention to the border. Then, the previous evening had been the first time Tseng had seen the pair through the camera he had installed in front of the church.  
  
Tseng couldn’t help but wonder what Zack, a competent SOLDIER 1st Class with high ambitions, saw in this boy-- no, young man. There was no way Zack could have known that Cloud would wake up one day from his mako poisoning, let alone recover enough to even stand, so why had he gone out of his way to risk _both_ their lives by having an unresponsive soldier slow him down? But at the same time, he could answer his own question, too - Zack was just that type of person, loyal to a fault. He wouldn’t leave a friend behind, no matter what. And that took his thoughts a step further - would Tseng have done the same for his fellow Turks? For _Rufus_? ... Absolutely, without a second thought or hesitation. Tseng wouldn’t compare himself to someone as inherently good as Zack, but when it came to their loyalty they were the same, and realising that finally made him understand.  
  
“I should be surprised that you and Zack sought refuge here, out of all the places Midgar has to offer, but frankly, I’m not. I’ve once been told this church has healing qualities, something you’ll need now,” Tseng said, his eyes turning to the flowerbed a few feet away, and Cloud’s eyes followed. They lingered on the yellow flowers for a moment while he wondered who had told Tseng about those healing qualities. So those feelings this morning and last night hadn’t been pure imagination? And what was Tseng doing here in a rundown, abandoned church in the slums, anyway? Gathering all his courage, Cloud returned his attention to the Turk sitting in front of him. “Why are you here? Are you spying on us?” Cloud asked with a small frown, only now realising he didn’t have a weapon here to defend himself with if need be. Then again, even if he had had a weapon, he knew enough about the Turks to know that they didn’t necessarily _need_ a weapon to attack with, especially not on someone who could barely walk a few steps without falling down. Chances were that Tseng knew twenty ways to kill a person with only one single hand, not to mention the gun Cloud remembered the Turk carrying.  
  
“It’s none of your concern as to why I’m here, but I’m not spying on you,” Tseng denied as he looked back at Cloud who still sat on the floor. “My men and I have gone to some lengths to enable you and Zack to enter the city unnoticed; actively spying on you now would be a waste of my time.” Tseng didn’t miss the look of surprise on Cloud's face, and continued to elaborate. “We had the order to eliminate two _laboratory escapees_ in SOLDIER uniforms. Official reports say we shot them down on their last trek towards the city, after the military failed. …It was a strange day; just when we thought things had returned to normal, the security system at Midgar’s border seemed to suddenly malfunction,” Tseng added with curious innocence as if that malfunction had been a complete coincidence.  
  
Cloud remembered now - Public Security had numerous security checks, spread all across the city, and they were monitoring the Midgar’s entrances and exits. Nobody entered or left Midgar undetected, whether they had an ID card on them or not. He paled even more in realisation just how close they had been to being found out right at their goal’s doorstep. “You should organise new ID cards soon. There's a ‘distributor’ in Sector 6 that should be convenient for you to reach out to,” Tseng added with a slight tilt of his head. Cloud was confused. Information on where to get fake replacements? But wasn’t this man a Turk? One of Shinra’s best, most dangerous weapons?  
  
“Why are you helping us?” Cloud asked, baffled. He had found it hard to believe when Zack had first mentioned that anybody from the ‘Investigation Sector of the General Affairs Department’ - a fancy name for a group of Shinra employees trained to spy, gather intel by any means possible, and kill - would have helped them escape to safety. Any of them going against an order from the company was unheard of, to Cloud’s knowledge. Tseng studied Cloud for a few long moments, enough to make Cloud feel uncomfortable again. “Five years ago I saw the video footage from the security cameras in the Nibelheim reactor prior to our arrival, and I believe Professor Hojo overstepped certain boundaries. Fortunately I’m in a position in which I can, let’s say, _bend the rules a little_ , for old companions,” Tseng said, and the way he said Hojo’s name gave Cloud the impression that the Turk disliked the professor.  
  
“What I would like to know is: Why did Sephiroth act the way he did?” Tseng asked then, watching Cloud pull his legs in to sit cross legged. This was something that had bugged Tseng ever since the _incident_ \- Sephiroth had always been loyal to Shinra, and had even been pleasant to be around for the most part. Then suddenly he had turned on his own companions, murdered and burnt down an entire village, _and_ had gone after a highly classified experiment that even _Tseng_ barely knew existed. The General had died before he could be personally questioned, though, and Tseng wanted to know more.  
  
Cloud needed a moment to reluctantly think back to the last few days leading up to that fateful day. Zack had been around the General more than him at the time, but had talked to Cloud about Sephiroth during their down time. “I can’t remember clearly, but for a few days before the incident, he was holed up in the Shinra Mansion. Zack said Sephiroth found a ton of information about his origins, that he was the result of experiments. He kept talking about some Jenova and a Promised Land. When he finally left the mansion, he just went… nuts,” Cloud said quietly, trying not to think too much about how his village had burnt down around him, or about his mother’s pained screams. When he looked up, Tseng seemed to be thinking about something - if anybody, the Turk probably understood what Sephiroth had been talking about. Those guys _knew_ things. “I see…” was all Tseng said, his expression still carefully neutral, but Cloud was sure Tseng was working through the information in his mind, either way.  
  
A few moments of silence settled between them, each lost in their own thoughts. Until Cloud realised that maybe, as a Turk, Tseng actually knew something about the reports Zack had told him about the night before. Cloud looked up again, now feeling a little more at ease around Tseng after their talk so far, no longer feeling like the Turk was a threat to him and Zack. “Uhm, Zack said he had a quick look at our medical records before he got us out of Hojo’s lab. Do you know anything about a Reunion Theory or S-Cells?” Cloud asked, figuring it was worth a shot. If it was highly classified information, he didn’t expect to get any answers, but there was no harm in trying, right?   
  
Tseng raised a fine eyebrow. “I don’t, no,” he said, but he made a mental note to look into that. He was actually in the dark about far too many things the crazy professor was up to, but he would certainly be looking into the matter one way or another. Tseng had always had a bad feeling about Professor Hojo, but had never done anything about it. It would, however, require a very sensitive approach to inconspicuously gather intel about his experiments.   
  
“Yeah, didn’t think you would,” Cloud couldn’t help but sigh, not doubting that Tseng didn’t know, going by the Turk’s curious expression. Tseng had been very open and honest about something not of Cloud’s concern, so Cloud believed that the Turk wouldn’t hesitate to be that honest again, if he actually had gathered more classified information on their case. And really, he was grateful just for the things Tseng had already said and done.  
  
Another brief yet mostly comfortable silence settled between them, before Tseng suddenly stood up. “I should take my leave. But I want to make something clear: We helped you and Zack back then, but from now on you’re on your own. I won’t risk my men by blindly defying orders again. I advise you and Zack to keep your heads down for the foreseeable future. Get new ID cards, and don’t cause any trouble that might draw Shinra’s attention,” Tseng warned, though they wouldn’t be entirely on their own in spite of his warning. Tseng would still do what he could to help the pair, but if push came to shove, he would prioritise the safety of his fellow Turks and himself without hesitation.   
  
Cloud nodded his understanding. “Thank you, Tseng,” he said, indeed very grateful for what the Turk had done for him and Zack. Cloud could interpret Tseng’s earlier word of ‘bending the rules’ that he _had_ basically, very carefully defied orders, and understood that without that help, he and Zack wouldn’t have made it into Midgar. Tseng offered a small smile as he turned. “Give Zack my regards when he’s back, we’ll meet again soon,” Tseng said on his way out. Cloud wasn’t quite sure what to make of the announcement of them meeting soon, but he would keep it in mind to tell Zack.  
  


* * *

  
For the rest of the time, Cloud kept trying to exercise his legs while taking breaks in between when his body began to protest too much, his legs threatening to give out beneath him. By the time Zack returned in the afternoon, Cloud was able to take steadier, yet slow steps over longer distances. The first thing Zack saw when he got back was his boyfriend walking, which had him almost tackle-hug Cloud in his excitement. “Cloud! You’re walking! I’m so happy!” he exclaimed with a bright grin, and Cloud couldn’t help but laugh softly as he returned the tight hug. He didn’t know what was going on with his muscles, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. If this continued, he would be able to help Zack with mercenary jobs a lot sooner than expected.  
  
“Aerith hasn’t been here yet, right?” Zack asked when they sat on the nearby pew a few minutes later, having calmed down again from his excitement. They still had some of the water Zack had brought back the previous evening, so they drank some of it now. “ _She_ hasn’t, but _Tseng_ has,” Cloud said, to which Zack raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Tseng was here? When? What did he say?” Zack asked; he would have liked to see the Turk again after so long, but he was confident they would run into each other another time. He was still sure that Tseng and his men had helped them in some way - he knew for a fact that Cissnei, _a Turk_ , had let them off the hook on multiple occasions over the past year. Was it so far fetched to think the others on her team would join in on her efforts?  
  
Cloud shifted a bit to sit more comfortably, and related his earlier conversation with Tseng. Zack listened attentively, smiling, and he was grateful for the help Tseng and his men had in fact provided. “What did I say? He’s a good guy, even though he sometimes seems kinda scary,” Zack chuckled, and Cloud smiled as he agreed that the Turk seemed to be kinder than he let on. Cloud _did_ remember the mission to Modeoheim he’d been on with Zack and Tseng, and really, the Turk hadn’t seemed so bad at all.  
  
“He said I should say hi from him, and that you’ll meet soon. How did he know we’re here?” Cloud asked, hoping Zack could make sense of this surprise visit. The Turk had denied spying on them, and Cloud believed him. “He knows Aerith, he probably wanted to visit her. The Turks drop by here sometimes. But don’t worry, I knew they wouldn’t harm us,” Zack quickly added as he saw the alarm in Cloud’s expression. “You _thought_ they wouldn’t, you couldn’t know that,” Cloud corrected with a frown, clearly remembering Zack saying that he ‘was sure the Turks had helped’ - but there was a big difference between _being sure_ and _knowing_. Had Zack’s intuition been wrong, they might well be dead or on the way to a lab right now.   
  
Zack made a face as he was called out on his little fib, and he was keen to quickly change the subject. “Anyway, tomorrow evening I’m planning to see if Kunsel’s in Wall Market. It's the weekend, so there’s a good chance he will be,” Zack said, hoping he would be able to see his old friend again. Cloud was a little reluctant to let Zack off the hook that easily, if the suspicious squint of his eyes was anything to go by, but there was no point in arguing about what couldn’t be changed now. Luckily nothing bad had come out of Tseng’s visit at least. Zack would never forgive himself, after all, if they were brought back to the ‘mad professor’ because of a careless, stupid mistake he had made. He had sworn to himself that he would protect Cloud, and he never went back on his word.  
  
Just then, they heard the church door open - and now that Cloud knew their location was known by the Turks, he was instinctively on edge. That is, until a young woman entered the building, before she closed the large door again. “Hey, Aerith!” Zack greeted her, waving at her with a grin. She smiled and waved back, and hurried over to the couple. “And you must be Cloud, right? I’m Aerith, nice to meet you!” Aerith introduced herself to Cloud with an almost innocent smile once she reached them, and Cloud could see why Zack often referred to her as an angel - she did seem to be very sweet, and her voice was very pleasant. But before he had the chance to say something in return, she leaned in closer as if inspecting him. “You’re right, Zack, he really _is_ a cutie,” she added, her smile taking on a hint of mischief, and Cloud reconsidered the term ‘angel’ as he glanced over to Zack. Cloud couldn’t help but feel a little awkward at being sized up like this, but his boyfriend grinned proudly at Aerith’s observation. “I know, I’m always right,” Zack stated, ignoring the doubtful looks he got from both Cloud and Aerith at that.  
  
Cloud, being as shy and awkward as he was, shifted almost uncomfortably at Aerith’s effortless breach of his personal space and the comment. Though if it had been anybody else, he would have doubtlessly been a lot more uncomfortable - with Aerith, however, there was just something about her that put him a bit more at ease. Cloud guessed it was the fact that Zack had told him so much about her in the past, that somehow she felt familiar to him even though this was the first time they actually met. “Uhm, yeah, I’m Cloud…” he confirmed, to which Aerith nodded with a happy smile.  
  
“Here, take a seat,” Zack offered her then, and stood up for Aerith to take his seat on the bench, then sat on the floor in front of them instead. This way the three of them could comfortably talk while looking at each other, and there was no way he would let a lady sit on the floor. She thanked Zack with a smile and sat down, putting the basket next to herself, while Zack finally freed himself of his shoulder-pads. He wouldn’t be needing them anymore this evening, and they weren’t exactly comfortable either.  
  
“I made some stew for you, figured you guys could do with something warm,” Aerith said as she dug around in her basket. She had everything prepared - a pot wrapped in a towel, two bowls, a ladle and two spoons, and the delicious scent of a savoury beef stew instantly met them when the lid was lifted off the pot. So maybe she did earn the title of ‘angel’ after all, Cloud thought while she filled the bowls and added the spoons. “You’re the best!” Zack said enthused as he took hold of the offered bowl, and Cloud thanked her as well as he took the other one. She waved it off with a smile, saying she was happy to help however she could.  
  
“Are you sure you want to stay here? We can make room for you both to stay at my house,” Aerith said after a few moments, while Zack and Cloud began to eat. She understood and appreciated that they didn’t want to pull her mother into their business, and that they could prepare meals with the camp cooker, but she did believe them to be safer there than here. “You know Tseng sometimes comes here. I mean, he visited just recently, so I don’t expect him back for a while, but…” she trailed off when she noticed Cloud shifting uneasily and exchanging glances with Zack. “He was here today, while I was out. Cloud met him,” Zack told her, which genuinely surprised Aerith. She really hadn’t thought any of the Turks would be coming back so soon. “But it’s cool, he’s on our side. He and his men helped us into Midgar,” Zack quickly assured, so as not to worry her unnecessarily. It seemed to work, and Aerith nodded her understanding. She had always known that Zack got along well with Tseng, so really, she shouldn’t be too surprised after all. She also knew Tseng better than anybody outside Shinra, and knew that deep down he had a good heart.  
  
“Tseng said something about this church having healing qualities. Do you know anything about that?” Cloud asked after another few moments. She tilted her head at him, a smile on her lips. “He said that? Well, it’s good he’s listened to what I said then. But it’s true, there’s something special about this place. Like it’s connected to… oh, I don’t know, it’s just special. It has an energy that even lets flowers grow. Pretty neat, isn’t it?” she said, that sweet smile still there as she watched Cloud, who only gave a small, thoughtful nod in agreement before he ate another spoonful of the stew. Cloud thought some more as he ate, while Zack talked about the amount of flowers surrounding Aerith’s home. So maybe there actually _was_ something special about this place, Cloud finally began to admit to himself. Aerith had basically just confirmed it herself, and she was the one who tended to this church.  
  
They talked a little more then, and a while later Cloud insisted he would go wash the dishes while Zack and Aerith caught up some more. In Cloud’s opinion that was the least he could do, especially now that he could finally walk again - slowly, of course, but he could walk. He wanted to be useful, too, give something back for having been taken care of by Zack for so long. Cloud also wanted to be out and about as soon as possible, and help Zack build up a reputation for them in the slums, he wouldn’t just sit around and wait for his body to heal eventually.  
  
Shortly after he returned, Aerith excused herself again, saying she had some errands to run for her mother. There were plenty of people in Sector 5 that needed non-combat help with something or another, she added, so maybe Zack and Cloud could look into that as well at some point. It would be a great way for them to build up a reputation - and something Cloud could actively help with until he was able to fight monsters. It was definitely something worth thinking about, and Cloud was eager to become more active. He wasn’t picky about what jobs he would take, as long as he got to help Zack in supporting them.  
  


* * *

  
Cloud was particularly tired later that evening, which he blamed on his continued attempts to improve his walking. All that practise was completely worth this tiredness, though, because Cloud slowly felt the strength returning to his legs. After they got ready for bed, Cloud huddled up close to Zack, his head resting on Zack’s shoulder while the rest of his body was half on top, half next to his boyfriend. This was possibly his favourite position to rest in - this, or having his head on Zack’s chest. Really though, the fact that he was able to - consciously - cuddle with Zack in _any_ position was a blessing in itself. Cloud kept reminding himself of that, and each time he appreciated this small miracle even more than before. He couldn’t even begin to imagine how difficult this past year must have been for his boyfriend…  
  
“Hey Cloud, I’m really happy you got along with Aerith. You’re both important to me, so it means a lot that you’re good with each other,” Zack’s words pulled Cloud from his thoughts, and he moved his head to be able to look at Zack with a soft smile. “She seemed nice, yeah. I’m looking forward to getting to know her better,” Cloud said honestly. Next time he would try to be more talkative when she visited them, he decided. He was generally quiet and a little awkward around new people he met, but he wanted to do better. And really, after the time they shared that afternoon, he felt like there was no need to be awkward around her. She was the perky type of person that could make someone like him feel more relaxed, if he just allowed it himself.  
  
Though maybe this church also played a part in him feeling like he could become more relaxed. He remembered a dream… or _was_ it a dream? Last night, that dim green glow… Cloud thought back to what he first deemed to have been a dream, though it had felt so real. The memory was fuzzy, though, so he wondered if it had really happened, or if he had dreamt up the green glow surrounding him. He remembered a warmth and strength coursing through his body, and looking back at his advanced ability to walk that day, Cloud wondered if that glow had anything to do with his sudden improvement. He was no medical expert, but even he could figure out that this recovery speed wasn’t normal. He frowned softly in thought, as he just couldn’t make sense of it. Had that been this ‘energy’ that Aerith had meant earlier?  
  
“Did you notice a strange light last night?” Cloud asked his boyfriend, and looked up again when he got a sleepy hum in reply. Zack had his eyes closed, already half asleep, and Cloud couldn’t help but smile. It was no surprise Zack was this tired, having been out and about all day long again. Pressing an affectionate kiss to his boyfriend’s shoulder, Cloud finally settled to hopefully be overcome by sleep soon, too.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories and a glimpse of another timeline give Cloud the worst nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TheBlackMorals for taking the time to beta read this!

_The smells of burning wood and flesh were all around him, the thick smoke threatening to suffocate him. Cloud’s vision was blurry at first, eyes stinging from the smoke as he laid on the ground in Nibelheim, surrounded by loud crackling and a few even louder screams as the flames ate house and human alike. He had heard his mother’s screams of anguish just moments ago; with some effort Cloud lifted himself up enough to see a blackened, unmoving arm and upper body on the ground of the doorway of his mother’s house. “Mom…?” Cloud choked out, unable to tear his eyes away from her charred body, and momentarily oblivious to the increasing heat around him.  
  
_ _A movement in the corner of his vision snapped him out of his trance, though, and as Cloud looked up, he made out Sephiroth among the flames. The General, his idol, was watching him with nothing but pure, wicked malice in his eyes. A smirk, and Sephiroth turned to walk away. “General?” Cloud croaked with a scratchy throat, and it took the following coughing fit for him to remember the danger he still was in. Cloud didn’t know why Sephiroth had done this, but being his superior or not, the man had to pay. Gathering all of his strength, Cloud pushed himself up to stagger into safety, his nose and mouth pressed into the crook of his elbow to try to avoid inhaling more of the thick smoke.  
  
_ _Outside the immediate danger zone, Cloud caught a glimpse of Sephiroth heading for the Nibelheim reactor. At this point he didn’t care why Sephiroth was headed there, all of his focus being on moving forward - to cross the bridge and follow the path up Mount Nibel. Cloud also didn’t yet consider the fact that he had no weapon, nor that he was a simple infantryman about to go up against the legendary SOLDIER 1st Class General Sephiroth. He just had to make him pay.  
  
_

* * *

_  
The first person Cloud saw upon entering the reactor was Zack lying on the stairs, covered in blood and in obvious pain. Then Tifa, motionless and somewhat bloody, too. She was lying only a few steps away from him, so Cloud rushed over to her first, confirming that she was unconscious but stable - safe for now. Within moments Cloud was by Zack’s side next, but before he could become too agitated over his boyfriend’s obviously bad state, Zack spoke up through his pain. “Sephiroth, he’s--” another surge of pain stopped Zack as he tried to move. “Stay still, I’ll get him for this,” Cloud promised, hushing Zack as he brushed a hand through his blood matted hair.  
  
_

* * *

_  
Harsh fluorescent light hurt Cloud’s eyes when he tried to open them, but that pain was barely noticeable compared to how his entire body seemed to hurt. The worst pain seemed to be in his chest - the memory of a long, slender blade impaling him returning to his mind. Before he could dwell on the thought for long, though, the sound of a familiar voice filtered through his mind.  
  
_ “Let him go! I’ll kill every last one of you! Cloud! Cloud, can you hear me?!”  
  
 _Zack…? Cloud turned his head in the direction of Zack’s voice, and he opened his eyes a little more. “Sedate him. I hate it when my specimens act up like that,” a shrill voice said, and people in white coats a few feet away from him began to move about hurriedly. Cloud tried to speak, but the moment he moved his lips, a wave of nausea hit him. He then noticed a thin green tube leading towards his arm - looking up, he found a bag of the same, almost neon green substance hanging right next to him on an IV stand.  
  
_ _“Cloud!”  
  
_ _As Cloud returned his attention to Zack, who was laid out on a table a few feet away, their eyes met briefly before the strong sedatives seemed to force Zack to sleep. Cloud wanted to call out to his boyfriend, to help him, but his own vision began to blur again in the same moment, his mind growing foggier, and the world went black.  
  
_

* * *

 _  
Cloud recognised this place;_ _he had woken up here before. Sitting in some sort of tank, a glass cage…  
  
_ _He tried to lift his head to look to the side, and as he turned his head he found Zack in another tank next to his own, sitting slumped over and obviously unconscious. It was no unfamiliar sight by now, but like every other time before, Cloud feared the worst. A very rational fear that Zack was_ not _alright shot through Cloud’s mind. Was Zack still alive? Cloud wanted to somehow go to Zack, hold him, be sure he was ‘okay’ - as ‘okay’ as either of them could be. Cloud’s entire body felt stiff and pained as he tried to shift sluggishly and slowly to the side along the glass barrier, a few inches closer to his boyfriend. “Zack,” he whispered, his lethargic arm reaching up in an attempt to place his hand against the glass, only he didn’t make it that far. His arm suddenly went limp, and fell down uselessly as he blacked out again.  
  
_

* * *

 _  
The monotonous hum of an engine broke through Cloud’s consciousness, the sound muffled. He could feel his head bobbing, but there was nothing he could do about it. Cloud’s limbs were too heavy to move; the most he could do was open his eyes halfway. His vision was blurry, and his mind only slowly understood the fact that he was in a moving vehicle. The vehicle began to slow down, however, and it would probably have been a relief to Cloud’s neck if he had been able to feel much of anything. There was mostly just a heavy numbness.  
  
_ _“Let’s take a break here, okay Cloud?” That voice… Muffled as the voice was, and sluggish as Cloud’s mind worked, he recognised that voice. The hum of an engine stopped abruptly. “Pretty cool ride, huh? We got it from Cissnei. You know her, right? Wait, no, I don’t think you two met yet. She’s one of the Turks. She’s supposed to turn us in, but believe it or not, she gave us this bike instead. With this we’ll get to Midgar in no time! I just hope the sidecar is comfy for you. … Wait here, I’ll be right back.” Cloud didn’t understand the meaning of everything that was being said, but just hearing Zack’s voice felt comforting to him.  
  
_ _After some amount of silence, Cloud heard that voice again. “C’mon Cloud, let’s get you out of there. It’s getting dark soon, we can stay at this farm for the night. We’ll get cosy in the shed, ‘kay?” Zack sounded happy. Cloud felt his body being moved, his side pressed up against… something, but he couldn’t make sense of what his limbs were doing. The next thing he knew, he was no longer being moved, and he began to understand that he was sitting down again. A comforting warmth enveloped him, and this time he heard Zack’s voice closer to his ear. “Hey Cloud, think we should maybe settle on a farm instead? The air’s much better out here compared to Midgar. Just imagine how many stars we could probably see out here - we hardly ever see a star in Midgar. I’m sure you’d love it, as a fellow backwater expert. Remember I called us backwater experts the first time we met? We had instant chemistry.” Cloud wanted to move; he wanted to wrap his arms around Zack, cuddle up to him, talk to him, but he was trapped in his own unresponsive body.  
  
_

* * *

_  
“Cloud, I miss you…” That was the only thing Cloud was able to pick up right then, in this sea of nothingness.  
  
_

* * *

_  
Kneeling in mud and puddles of blood, Cloud’s eyes were fixed on Zack’s lifeless, bloodied body as rain mercilessly poured down upon him, mixing with his stream of tears. Zack didn’t deserve any of this. Zack had always seen the good in people, had always stood up for the weak and fought for the right thing - and now he was shot dead in the middle of nowhere. The sword - Zack’s treasured Buster Sword - laid heavy in Cloud’s hands, the weight increased by the promise he made, and the heaviness of his heart. Living legacy, live both their lives… Never forget… He promised…  
  
_

* * *

_  
“Cloud? Is that you?” a woman’s voice asked tentatively, and Cloud slowly opened his eyes. He had the worst headache, and found himself sitting sprawled out on the ground. “He might be drunk, miss. He’s been talking some unintelligible gibberish,” a man’s voice said. ‘Cloud’? Right, that was his name… Looking up, he saw a woman kneeling in front of him with worry and confusion written all over her expression, and she gasped in surprise when their eyes met. “It really is you! What happened? What are you doing here?” she continued to ask, and Cloud wondered just where he was. And that woman… He knew her… “Tifa?” he asked, the fog in his mind quickly lifting as he looked around. The man whose voice he heard a moment ago was dressed in some kind of uniform. “My train is about to leave. You seem to know each other, so…” the man trailed off, and Tifa seemed to get the hint. “Don’t worry, I’ll bring him somewhere safe,” she assured with a smile, and helped Cloud to stand on unsteady legs.  
  
_ _“Cloud, are you okay? What happened?” she asked carefully yet insistently. “I…” Cloud began, but a piercing headache shot through his already throbbing head. Holding his head, he saw a giant sword next to where he had just been sitting._   
  
_‘--mercs of the slums!’ Mercenary, Midgar…  
  
_ _"I quit Shinra. Decided to use my skills as a mercenary instead,” Cloud stated as he reached down to pick up the sword -_ his _sword, and almost lost his balance in doing so. He was helped up by Tifa, and when he stood again, he still saw the worry in her eyes. “It’s fine, I’m fine, don’t worry. I didn’t expect to see you here,” Cloud said as he slowly pulled the sword up to heft it onto his back. SOLDIER… He was… Another stinging headache, and… That’s right, he was a SOLDIER… 1st Class. Cloud Strife, SOLDIER 1st Class. “Yeah… Hey Cloud, how about we go catch up? I know a place you could stay for a while. And I’m sure we have so much to talk about,” Tifa said, and as Cloud looked up again, he noticed her smile was strained with concern.  
  
_

* * *

 _  
Public security announcements blasted from speakers all over the Sector, with fires blazing in partially destroyed buildings. Being unfamiliar with the Sector 8 upper plate, Cloud tried to navigate the streets and rooftops, many streets blocked off by fallen debris. He saw a bridge crumbling ahead of him, and before he got too close, it collapsed in on itself, burying the people under it underneath heavy concrete. Cloud covered his face and coughed in the resulting dust cloud being whirled up, and once it settled enough, he saw the pile of concrete in front of him. None of the people underneath all that heavy rubble would have survived, but… that wasn’t his problem. They were dead now, nothing he could do about it. Besides, he was too distracted by memories that were brought back by the burning buildings around him. Nibelheim… General Sephiroth…  
  
_ _Cloud quickly snapped himself out of it, and shook his head - he didn’t want to remember. It was high time for him to get away from here, anyway, so he turned to leave, but was caught by surprise by a far taller man standing directly behind him. Looking up, he saw…  
  
_

* * *

  
“ _Sephiroth!_ ” Cloud almost yelled as he woke, sitting up with a start - his heart was racing in his chest, his breathing heavy, and he was suddenly rendered completely disoriented as he shook all over. Where was he?! Where was Sephiroth?! He startled when he felt a hand on his bare upper arm, and whirled around. “Cloud! It’s okay! It’s Zack, I’m right here, you had a nightmare,” Zack said as they sat facing each other, and Cloud stared at him in disbelief for a few long moments as tears began to stream down his cheeks. _A nightmare?_ … Cloud remembered seeing his boyfriend shot dead in front of him - that certainly sounded like the worst possible nightmare…  
  
Still shaking from the shock those dreams had left him with, Cloud finally moved closer to Zack for his arms to tightly wrap around the other man. Zack looping his arms around him in a strong embrace, and the comforting warmth helped to ground Cloud, skin to skin as they had slept in only their underwear. _This_ was real, Zack was _alive_. And Sephiroth was dead, Cloud had personally killed the General.  
  
They just held each other for a few long minutes, with Zack soothingly brushing his fingers through Cloud’s hair, and Cloud trying to calm down from the shock. “Wanna talk about it?” Zack asked quietly, and pressed a kiss to the side of Cloud’s head. Cloud thankfully couldn’t remember everything from his nightmare, but he told his boyfriend what he remembered. Hojo, glass tanks. Seeing Zack lifeless and covered in blood in his mind’s eye again brought yet another wave of tears along. That was easily the hardest part, and he clung to Zack as if his boyfriend might suddenly disappear. And Zack listened silently, giving Cloud all the time he needed to calm down.  
  
“It’s okay, Cloud, we’re both here. We’re both alive and unharmed, you just had a bad dream,” Zack said soothingly, and Cloud finally, slowly began to calm down. His tears became less, his shaking evened out, and it left him feeling completely exhausted. “I love you, Zack, don’t ever leave me like that,” Cloud said after a few more minutes - having seen Sephiroth in his dream, here in Midgar, had certainly shaken him, but Zack’s death had definitely had the biggest impact on Cloud. “I won’t, I promise,” Zack assured, and brushed one of his hands up Cloud’s back. They would both take care of each other, keep each other safe.  
  
They stayed like that for a few more minutes before Cloud reluctantly moved back. “I should… bathroom,” he mumbled, wanting to blow his nose and splash his face with some cold water, to wash away the mostly dried trails of his tears. Zack removed his arms from around Cloud, who then shifted to the edge of the mattress to slip into his boots. The back rooms really weren’t safe to walk around in barefoot, after all. Cloud hesitated before he stood, and moved around a bit more to face Zack. “Uhm, mind coming along?” Cloud asked quietly - that nightmare of losing his boyfriend still nagged at him. To his relief, Zack just smiled and readily agreed, moving to put on his boots, too. Once he stood, Cloud took Zack’s hand when it was offered before they slowly walked towards the bathroom in the back of the church. Cloud couldn’t walk faster yet, but really, he was happy - and amazed - to be walking at all, especially this soon. He would take whatever progress he could make.  
  
Zack stayed in front of the bathroom door while Cloud washed his face. He felt refreshed after, but still exhausted, and guilty for having woken his boyfriend with his nightmare as well. Maybe they could sleep a little longer in the morning. Zack hadn’t mentioned wanting to go out early again. When Cloud opened the door, Zack was right there waiting for him, but a memory returned when the light from the bathroom swept over Zack. Cloud saw the by now familiar faint scars of cuts and incisions left across Zack’s broad chest, similar to those scattered across his own chest. But now, a bunch of already almost healed bullet wounds were added to Zack’s injuries. Some would probably scar, some would be properly healed by the mako enhancement, and while Cloud had of course seen them before now, images of his nightmare came rushing back, of seeing Zack’s lifeless body riddled with bullet wounds. Cloud stepped forward to close the gap between them, and lifted his hands to rest on Zack’s chest, his fingers brushing over one patch of still tender skin. “You nearly died out there,” Cloud said quietly, his eyes still on the healing wound. “I’m sorry I slowed you down.” Had Cloud awoken sooner, or had he not survived his time in the lab, Zack could have made a faster and safer escape.  
  
“Hey, look at me,” Zack said, and hooked his fingers underneath Cloud’s jaw to tilt his head up for their eyes to meet. “ _You_ saved _me_ , Cloud. Had you not been with me, I’d probably have given up. I had lost Angeal, Sephiroth betrayed us - had I lost you, too, what else would’ve been left? You gave me a reason to fight. I wanted us both to build a new life together. And now we have a real chance,” Zack said with a soft smile, his hand moving to cup Cloud’s cheek, his thumb brushing over his cheekbone.   
  
Cloud hadn’t considered that before, wouldn’t have been able to fathom how he might have helped Zack during their escape, but he knew his boyfriend was being sincere. And he could see how their future together could be a motivation that had kept Zack going. Cloud fought back new tears as he closed the gap between them, his arms looping around Zack, who did the same in return. Cloud wasn’t usually one to cry this much, but those nightmares tonight had really gotten to him. He turned his head for their lips to meet, and Zack didn’t hesitate to return the kiss.  
  
They kissed leisurely, both just taking in the moment until the kiss came to a natural end. “Come on, let’s get some more shut-eye,” Zack said as he reached for the bathroom’s light switch. Here in the back of the church it was darker than in the front hall, so their eyes needed to re-adjust to the darkness again without the bathroom light as they walked. When they finally made it back to their bed and under the cover, Cloud instantly cuddled up to Zack again. With Zack lying on his back, Cloud rested his head on his boyfriend’s chest, letting his steady heartbeat and body warmth slowly lull him back to sleep. The nightmares would eventually catch up with him again that night, but for that moment he felt safe and comfortable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Twitter @tonberryjan


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack meets Kunsel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TheBlackMorals for taking the time to beta read this!
> 
> This chapter is entirely from Zack's POV.

With an uneasy night behind them, Zack and Cloud had spent most of the day leisurely, just the two of them enjoying each other’s company. Zack had watched as Cloud practised walking again, and though his pace had still been slow and careful, Cloud had claimed his legs felt a little more steady, at least. The change from being invalid to being able to walk practically overnight had been surprisingly big, though neither of them had any illusions that Cloud’s recovery would continue at that speed. It was better for them to keep their expectations low and be pleasantly surprised by any further progress, than to be too hopeful and end up disappointed, right? To support his recovery further, they had also constructed an exercise plan that should help Cloud regain his strength, too, during the day.  
  
It was only now, in the early evening, that Zack left the church to head for Wall Market, which would be a bit of a walk. A walk through almost the entire fifth sector, and part of Sector 6, too, but it was a pleasant enough stretch. He didn’t carry his Buster Sword - after having assured Cloud multiple times that it would be fine to leave the sword behind, there was enough scrap to fight with if need be - and Zack knew that his boyfriend was in good company as Aerith had arrived shortly before he had set out. It was comforting for him to know that Cloud wouldn’t be alone again, as he had been the other times when Zack had been out and about for various little jobs. Especially after last night, when Cloud’s nightmares had shaken, well, _both_ of them up. Cloud had luckily managed to fall back to sleep, but Zack hadn’t.  
  
As he walked along the path leading through Sector 5, Zack thought back to the previous night, when he had woken up from Cloud’s movements in his arms…  
  


* * *

  
 _Zack and Cloud were both light sleepers, which was quite common for soldiers, and something they both retained even now. As a result, Zack woke up almost instantly when he felt his boyfriend squirm in his arms while still being fast asleep, Cloud's expression showing clear distress even in the dim light. Zack tried to wake him up, but to his surprise he found it to be next to impossible to do so. So much for Cloud being a ‘light sleeper’... Zack eventually gave up, and decided to just hold Cloud instead, his trembling body seeming more fragile in that moment than it already was.  
  
_ _As he held Cloud protectively, Zack wondered what his boyfriend was dreaming of - especially when he heard his own name being whispered with a hint of panic. Zack frowned in confusion, and he began to wonder if maybe Cloud was reliving what had happened in Nibelheim in his sleep. It would make sense if he was, as they had talked about some of their memories in the Shinra Mansion only hours ago, and they were memories that at times still haunted Zack at night, too. “Zack, come back…!” Cloud pleaded in his sleep, crying, and Zack had to bite his lip to keep himself together. He hated knowing that Cloud was hurting, and being unable to take the pain away, especially when it was something involving him that caused Cloud such pain and distress. “I’m right here, Cloud, I’m right here,” Zack whispered against his boyfriend’s ear in an attempt to soothe him, his fingers brushing through mussed blonde hair._ _What was he dreaming about...? Indeed memories from their past...?  
  
_ _The biggest surprise, though, came when Cloud suddenly woke with a start minutes later, saying the one name Zack hadn’t thought nor hoped he would hear again anytime soon--  
  
_ _Sephiroth.  
  
_

* * *

  
After having heard about Cloud’s dream, Zack still had so many questions. How much had Cloud been able to witness from Zack’s last stand off against the army out in the Wastelands? Zack had defeated the troopers, but it had been a close call in multiple instances, something he hadn’t actually told Cloud about. And what had triggered the strange nightmares about some kind of destruction in Midgar? Why had Sephiroth, out of all the people, appeared in them? Sure, nightmares and dreams were created by the brain processing things, Zack knew that, but Sephiroth was dead - killed far, _far_ away from Midgar…  
  
Thinking about Sephiroth and that fight against the troopers in the Wastelands inevitably made Zack’s mind wander back to the time _between_ those two events. Predominantly to the last year, when he and Cloud had been on the run from Shinra. Just the previous night he had told Cloud about how he had saved Zack during that year, and that confession held more weight than Zack had actually admitted to himself at the time. The time in Hojo’s lab had been painful and traumatising, yes, but at least Zack had been unconscious for the majority of the time.  
  


* * *

  
 _They were already half a year into their escape, and Zack felt it in his every bone and muscle fibre. Or maybe it was his last encounter with another bunch of Genesis clones the other day that made him feel more weary right now, as he struggled to lift Cloud out of the motorbike’s sidecar. The other day he had taken some money off of some Shinra grunts he had fought, and the inn in this little village he had found on the way now was the perfect place to spend it. Zack seemed to have good timing, too, as it looked like it was about to rain. He had reserved a room for himself and Cloud, and once he had his boyfriend out of the vehicle, Zack was able to pull the cover over the sidecar’s seat to avoid it filling up with rain.  
  
_ _“Hey Cloud, check out that comfy looking bed. Been a while since we’ve had something like that, right?” Zack said once they finally made it into their room. Cloud’s arm held securely around his shoulder, and Zack’s own arm held his boyfriend tightly around his waist. “And guess what - the owner of the inn said she's gonna make vegetable stew today. Apparently it’s the best in the village! Pretty high claim, if you ask me, but I guess we’ll see later how good it really is,” Zack chatted on as he carefully sat Cloud down on the edge of the bed, then laid him down with his legs still over the edge - Cloud could sit slumped, but only if he had something to lean against. Unsurprisingly, Zack’s words were met with silence.  
  
_ _Zack put aside his Buster Sword before he knelt down next to the bed, for a moment just watching his boyfriend’s pale face, half lidded eyes revealing the tint of green mako mixing with what had once been the most stunning, deep blue Zack had ever seen in a person’s eyes. A colour Cloud had inherited from his mother, whom Zack had met once, the evening just before all hell had broken loose in Nibelheim. Zack made sure to keep a soft smile on his lips as he reached up to rest his gloved hand on Cloud’s cheek for a moment. If there was any chance that Cloud could actually see, Zack didn’t want to show his concern or pain. Half a year of Cloud being unable to consciously react to anything Zack said or did naturally made him feel incredibly lonely, but Zack tried not to think along those lines too much. Cloud was here, he was alive.  
  
_ _“Hang on, I’ll make it more comfy for you,” Zack said as he withdrew his hand, and he moved to gently take off Cloud’s boots. Setting them aside, Zack then stood while he lifted his boyfriend’s legs up onto the bed, bringing Cloud to lay on his back. “Is that okay? Is the bed as cosy as it looks?” Zack asked, a small smile still on his lips before he glanced around the room. “I’ll be right back, lemme just check out this other room,” he said once he spotted another door, and went to peek into what turned out to be the bathroom. What he found in here instantly cheered Zack up, at least for the moment. “Guess what, Cloud, we’re having a nice warm bath after dinner!” Zack called out from the bathroom, actually feeling excited at the prospect. Excitement wasn’t an emotion he often felt anymore, but it were little things like bathtubs that brought along those positive feelings.  
  
_ _Inside the bathroom Zack took off his gloves, and washed his hands and face. There were so many thoughts nagging at the back of his mind, negative for the most part, but right now he focused on getting washed up, then dampened one of the washcloths provided by the inn. For now, Zack kept the prospect of a warm bath and the comfortable bed in mind as he returned to Cloud. Putting his gloves and the washcloth down on the bedside table, Zack sat down on the edge of the bed, and went about taking off Cloud’s gloves as well. “Man, our timing couldn’t’ve been any better - sounds like the rain’s really coming down hard out there. Imagine us driving through that,” Zack began another monologue as he put Cloud’s gloves on the bedside table, too, and took the washcloth to gently clean his boyfriend’s face and hands as well.  
  
_ _“Remember the last time we were caught in the rain in Midgar? I mean, it didn’t pour down as much then as it’s doing now, but by the time we found shelter, we were pretty soaked through, weren’t we? I can almost hear you call me a ‘drenched puppy’ again. Remember you calling me that not long after we started dating? I was out for a run, got caught up in a sudden downpour, and when I got back home you pointed out that I looked like a drenched puppy,” Zack laughed softly at the memory as he put the washcloth down on the bedside table. He missed those carefree times, and couldn’t help but wonder if they would have similar ones in future.  
  
_ _“Let’s take a little break for now, yeah? There’s still time until dinner’s ready,” Zack said as he went to the other side of the bed, and took off his own boots while silence filled the room once again. Truthfully, Zack was too exhausted to do anything other than rest right now, and he was relieved when he flopped down on the queen size bed next to Cloud. Zack looked up at the wooden ceiling for a few moments as he just relished the feeling of the soft (but not too soft) mattress. They had really lucked out this time with a dry, warm and comfortable place to stay, Zack thought as he finally turned onto his side to face Cloud, and shifted a bit closer to his boyfriend.  
  
_ _With Cloud looking up at the ceiling, there was no need for Zack to keep his expression in check anymore. He reached out to rest his arm across Cloud’s chest, and moved his hand to comfortingly stroke his boyfriend’s blonde hair. Zack was too tired to talk more right now. Frankly, he was too exhausted to do anything anymore, but giving up was not an option, not with Cloud’s life being at stake as well. He couldn’t just sit back and let Shinra get a hold of them again, not after everything they had already been through together.  
  
_ _But… deep down, Zack felt defeated, and on most days he found it difficult to even sound chipper anymore, when he talked to Cloud. Sometimes Zack would get a sound, a noise more than anything, out of Cloud in response, but more often than not he was only met by silence. That alone wouldn’t usually put a dent in Zack’s optimism - but it was just another drop into an already overflowing bucket. Zack still missed Angeal, and had no way of knowing where his friend and mentor was at the moment, how he was doing. And then there was Genesis with his copies, and Shinra forces trying to get to him and Cloud - not to mention the monsters Zack had to fight on the road. On top of that, whenever he was engaged in a fight, Zack constantly worried about Cloud’s safety. What if a monster or a trooper - or even a Genesis copy - got to his boyfriend?  
  
_ _Cloud’s health was his biggest concern, though. Zack was far from being a medical expert, so he had no way of knowing when - or even if - Cloud would wake up. Could he even hear anything he said?  
  
_ _Zack nursed and took care of his boyfriend to the best of his ability and knowledge, and had already learned a lot on the way from the kind people he had met during their journey, but he kept wondering if it was enough to help Cloud recover._ Would _he even recover…? Would they both get out of this alive, or would it all be for nothing in the end?  
  
_ _Zack thought back to that day in Nibelheim, the day that had turned their lives completely upside down. He bit his bottom lip when he remembered telling Cloud to go in after Sephiroth. The only thing he remembered after Cloud ran further into the reactor was the sound of heavy, unsteady steps somewhere above him, and Cloud tumbling down the metal stairs. These memories still haunted Zack’s dreams even now - if he could go back in time, he would tell Cloud to go make a call for emergency backup, or something else to get his boyfriend away from the reactor. Away from Sephiroth. But at the same time Zack knew that even if retreat had been his official order as a SOLDIER 1st Class, Cloud wouldn’t have listened. Even though he had only been an infantryman, Cloud had never backed down from danger, something even the Turks had noticed and commended, and that was one of the many things that had made Zack fall head over heels in love with Cloud way back when.  
  
_ _Cloud had shown inner strength in Nibelheim by facing Sephiroth, had been brave despite all the odds against him, and now Zack had to be the same for Cloud. “We’ll make it to Midgar, Cloud. And then we’ll start a new life together, I promise,” Zack said quietly once he pulled himself out of his painful thoughts, while his fingers still brushed through the blonde hair, and he curled up more against his boyfriend’s side.  
  
_

* * *

  
Despite being incredibly happy to actually have Cloud back now, _awake_ , some of the heaviness Zack had felt before still remained inside him. Too much had happened during the past year, too much pain and loneliness, too many losses and close calls…  
  
Zack knew they were fairly safe now (or as safe as they could be right under Shinra’s nose anyway), and that he and Cloud had Aerith and the Turks on their side. But despite knowing that, Zack still couldn’t rid himself of the guilt he had been carrying with himself for so long; that it was his fault they were even in this situation to begin with. Had things in Nibelheim gone differently that day, Zack might not have survived, but at least Cloud would have gotten away, and wouldn’t need to recover from a heavy mako poisoning now, right?   
  
But Zack didn’t want to show Cloud how much the past year affected him even now. He wanted to remain the same positive support for his boyfriend, as Cloud had it difficult enough right now with his recovery, memories and nightmares. He wanted to be strong for Cloud…  
  
A drunk bumped into Zack, breaking his train of thoughts, and he realised that he was already at the edge of Wall Market. It had been so long since he had last been there, Zack realised, but as he walked through the narrow pathways, he still recognised many of the places. He still clearly remembered everything he saw from his past visits. There were the scents of mixed spicy foods, flashy neon lights, dodgy dark alleys, loud, relaxed chatter of Wall Market patrons, different music tunes filtering from every other establishment and clashing with other tunes. Zack made sure to keep his hands stuffed casually into his pockets, mainly to prevent pick-pockets from trying to steal from him while keeping an eye out for Kunsel. He felt excited about the possibility of seeing his old friend again. Sure, Kunsel was part of Shinra, but he was also one of Zack’s closest friends. He trusted that revealing himself to Kunsel would be safe - he just had to make sure not to be spotted by other soldiers.  
  
As Zack walked through Wall Market, he noted that the gym was still up and running, too. Maybe he could take Cloud there sometime, once his boyfriend was capable of walking this far, and was confident enough to work out in a public gym. Wondering if Jules still owned the place, Zack was tempted to go have a quick look inside, but he reminded himself that he was there on a mission. And though it did take a little while of wandering around while keeping his eyes and ears open for any signs of his friend, he eventually spotted Kunsel walking down an alley, coming in his direction. Smiling to himself, Zack stepped back, and waited for the right moment to surprise his friend.  
  


* * *

  
Kunsel was already late to meeting his friends in a bar near the Honeybee Inn. Having been on duty since early morning, he had only wanted to take a quick power nap of 15 minutes, but had accidentally overslept, and thus missed meeting his friends at the train station in time. As a result, he was left to catch up with them at the bar. When he finally walked through Wall Market, he received a picture of the others raising their drinks at the camera. “Some friends you guys are…” he grumbled, and was about to text back a reply when he felt a hand land on his shoulder. Kunsel tensed and whipped around, instinctively ready to defend himself in case some drunk or local bandit wanted to cause trouble, but he froze when he saw who had stopped him.  
  
“You look like you’re seeing a ghost, buddy,” Zack grinned cheekily, his hand on Kunsel’s shoulder giving him a soft shake. Kunsel actually looked like he was about to cry, and before Zack knew what was happening, his friend had pulled him into a bear hug. “Zack, man, you’re _alive_! I _knew_ it!!” Kunsel exclaimed, drawing surprised looks from the strangers near them. “ _Shh, keep it down!_ ” Zack hushed Kunsel quickly with a soft laugh - he didn’t want to draw too much attention to them, but he couldn’t blame Kunsel for reacting the way that he did. Zack was happy to see Kunsel again as well, after all. “You busy? Mind if we go somewhere to talk?” Zack asked then, hoping they could catch up somewhere other than out here on the street. Kunsel shook his head. “Nope, I’m not. Well, yeah, kinda, but lemme change that,” he said, and sent his friends whom he was supposed to meet up with a text that he would be even later - he had his priorities, after all.  
  
They decided to settle for a booth in a bar on the upper floor of a building nearby that played relatively loud country music, where they could speak freely, without the risk of being overheard by others. Once they both had a beer in front of them, Zack began to sum up what had actually happened in Nibelheim, and where he and Cloud had been taken after, without going into too much detail - surely Kunsel could fill in the gaps. He also told him what had happened after their escape, and about Genesis and his copies, Hollander, and Angeal. Kunsel listened attentively, asking only a few questions in between. If Kunsel didn’t know Zack wasn’t one to tell lies or exaggerate, he wouldn’t have believed what had happened behind the scenes of the company he himself worked for. And not only the company, but also the SOLDIER program he himself was actually a part of. It hurt just to know what Zack and Cloud, a guy whom he had met a number of times before through Zack, had gone through for so long.  
  
Once Zack finished filling his friend in on everything that had happened, they both fell into a few moments of silence before Kunsel slowly shook his head. “I remember General Affairs telling us you were killed in action. I never believed it. I guess it was a gut feeling, y’know? I kept thinking about it, this whole KIA shit. General Affairs is the Turks’ world - if they’re involved, the situation ain’t actually that simple, right? So I thought: why would _they_ make a statement on your status? Did they have to kill you? And if so, _why_? What kind of mission had you actually been on?” Kunsel said while his fingers played with his beer glass, slowly spinning it. “But when I heard about two research samples escaping from Nibelheim, of all places, it got my hopes up that you really were alive. But then I wondered what the hell you did to warrant an entire battalion being sent out to kill you. … Shit man, had I known…” Kunsel trailed off with a frown. If there was any gossip in Shinra, he usually knew about it - Gossip Central, his friends would sometimes jokingly call him. But seeing that all soldiers who had encountered Zack during his escape had ended up dead, and the fact that the Turks never gossiped, it had been difficult for him to be in the know. Kunsel finally looked up at his friend. “I’m glad you both made it back to Midgar in one piece, you have know idea. If there’s anything I can do to help, just say the word, yeah?” Kunsel couldn’t help them sooner, but he would definitely do what he could now that he had the chance.  
  
Zack smiled at the offer, once again happy to have Kunsel as his friend. “Cloud and I aren’t in the clear yet. It would help us a lot if you could keep us updated on what’s going on inside Shinra. What did we miss while we were gone?” he asked before he took another swig of his beer, while Kunsel seemed to think of the most important news. “Well… one or two guys made it to 2nd Class, but it seems like the top dogs don’t wanna fill the ranks of 1st Class anymore. Nobody’s been promoted to 1st since shit hit the fan five years ago. And with Lazard gone as well, us SOLDIERs are kinda under Heidegger’s command now,” Kunsel said, and Zack made a disgusted face - he didn’t know anybody throughout the ranks who actually liked Director Heidegger, the head of Public Safety, and to hear that he was now in charge of SOLDIER was almost an insult.  
  
“I know, right?” Kunsel chuckled, “I heard the bastard’s even sorta in command of the Turks now, too -- no idea why. It's classified, just as everything else is that the Turks are involved in, but don’t worry, Tseng’s their director now. He knows how to handle the bighead,” Kunsel quickly added before Zack could verbally express his detestation at the mere thought. Zack had a high regard for the Turks, after all, and had gotten along well with the ones he had met in the past - and Heidegger getting his hands on the foot soldiers, SOLDIERs _and_ the Turks was wrong in every possible way! But then Zack realised what else Kunsel had said, and he perked in surprise. “Wait what, Tseng’s the boss of General Affairs now?” he asked, and it suddenly made so much more sense to him that the Turk had been able to ‘bend the rules’, as Tseng had told Cloud the other day; something Zack _hadn’t_ told Kunsel about. The less people who knew about Tseng’s defiance on his and Cloud’s behalf, the better. Zack took another sip of his beer as he contemplated that bit of actually good news, but he didn’t have much time to mull it over before Kunsel replied.  
  
“He is, but if you and Cloud keep your heads down, I think you should be safe for now. Shinra won’t expect you two to be right under their noses, and the military’s probably gonna have other concerns soon,” Kunsel began, but paused when someone walked a little too close past their booth. Once they were gone, he continued. “I don’t know if you’ve heard anything yet since your return, but there’s rumours going round of AVALANCHE beginning to stir up shit here in Midgar. They have anti-Shinra posters all over the slums.”   
  
Zack actually recalled seeing some random posters in Sector 5, now that Kunsel mentioned it, though not many, and he gave a slight nod to show that he knew what Kunsel was talking about. “Most things I hear from the slums are rumours, of course, but I’d stay far away from them if I were you, in case you ever run into them. You said you’re doing merc work now, right?” Zack nodded again, and smiled. “I’ll be careful about what jobs I take on, promise. Cloud will be joining me, too, as soon as he’s recovered enough, but I’ll let him know what’s going on here in the slums. Thanks for the warning,” he said. Tseng had also warned them to keep their heads down for now, so it was invaluable to have this kind of information from Kunsel.  
  
“So how’s Cloud doing right now? I haven’t heard of many people waking up or even recovering from mako poisoning,” Kunsel asked after a short moment of companionable silence, and he took another swig of his beer. The question had Zack’s smile falter slightly - he had always known about the odds of Cloud recovering fully, and it had been one of his main concerns over the past year; a prospect he had never had the mental strength to consider too much. “He’s good - well, _better_. He’s able to walk slowly now, that’s already a huge progress. I dunno if it’s the mako that’s sped up his recovery so far, but hey, we’re not complaining. He says hi, by the way, and hopes he can say it personally next time,” Zack added on a more cheerful note. He noticed that Kunsel seemed surprised by the fast progress as well, but no matter how it was possible, it was definitely a good thing.   
  
But then again… Zack didn’t know exactly what had been done to them in Professor Hojo’s lab, so theoretically whatever it was could actually have a positive effect on Cloud’s recovery. … Right?  
  
“He better deliver it personally. I miss the kid,” Kunsel nodded with a smile, though ‘kid’ probably wasn’t the correct term anymore. When they had last met, Cloud had also just been a teenager, but that was five years ago now - Cloud was a young man now. That made Kunsel curious as to how such a long time of unconsciousness and mako poisoning might have affected Cloud’s mind and personality, as there weren’t many accounts of people surviving mako poisoning.  
  


* * *

  
They talked for a little while longer, with Kunsel filling Zack in on several of the other friends they had in the military, before they decided to part ways for now. “Hey, uhm, this probably goes without saying, but I’d appreciate it if you kept this talk between us. And if you didn’t tell anybody about Cloud and me being here - not even to Luxiere,” Zack said almost a little awkwardly. He didn’t think Kunsel would rat them out, but he would rather be safe than sorry. Luxiere was a good SOLDIER, but it was no secret that he wanted to climb up the ladder within the military no matter how. “Pff, don’t worry, he would probably throw you under the bus if it scored him extra points with the top dogs. Nobody’s gonna get a word out of me,” Kunsel promised, holding up his hand as if he were making a vow.  
  
“And you let me know if you guys ever wanna start a merc trio. I’d jump the Shinra ship in an instant,” he added with a laugh, making Zack smile. “You’d be the first I’d ask,” Zack said with a grin and a mock salute, and they stood up from their table. Kunsel would be off to meet up with the others he had originally planned to spend the rest of the evening with, while Zack was far more keen to get back home (‘home is where the heart is’). He was tired, and right then, the idea of relaxing together with Cloud and possibly getting some early sleep sounded better than anything else.  
  


* * *

  
The first thing Zack saw when he entered the church was Cloud diligently practising squats. They were a little clumsy, but it was to be expected at the moment - with time they would surely improve as Cloud’s legs became stronger and more secure in their movements. “Hey, looks like I’ll have someone who's up for a squats challenge soon,” Zack said with a grin as he walked towards Cloud, who stood from his last rep. “Huh. Not anytime soon you won’t,” Cloud shrugged, but smiled as he lifted his arms up to wrap them around Zack’s neck, while Zack looped his arms around his boyfriend’s narrow waist. “I’m in no hurry,” Zack said with a smile, and he leant in for a slow, deep kiss.  
  
To Zack, there really was nothing better than having Cloud close like this, them both being able to share kisses and hold each other. He had had Cloud with him over the past year, yes, but it had more been a case of ‘being so close and yet so far away’, than anything else. Now, though, Cloud was aware, conscious and responsive - he could answer, smile, and actually hold a conversation. Zack didn’t need to feel lonely anymore, and now they could finally start building their future together, without military missions keeping them apart and worried about each other’s safety. From now on they would march to the beat of their own drum.  
  
“Did you find Kunsel?” Cloud asked once the kiss ended, and they took off their boots to laze together on the mattress for a little while. “Yeah, he was about to meet up with a few friends. He’s happy we’re well and back in the city,” Zack said with a smile, offering his arm as a pillow for Cloud. His boyfriend seemed to have a different plan, though, and settled half on top of Zack to rest his chin on his broad chest instead, so they could still look at each other. And Zack happily wrapped his arms around Cloud, one of his hands slowly, comfortingly brushing along his back. Zack’s other hand reached for Cloud’s, lacing their fingers while he summed up the talk he had had with Kunsel, especially the information about this new AVALANCHE group.  
  
They had both dealt with other AVALANCHE cells outside Midgar during their time in the Shinra military, so it was naturally concerning for them to have another active cell this close to home. Especially now that they were trying to build up their own mercenary business. “So the bottom line is: we won’t accept jobs from eco-terrorists,” Cloud stated, to which Zack gave a slight nod - engaging with one of Shinra’s main enemies would be the fastest way for him and Cloud to draw Shinra’s attention to them, too. “Midgar’s huge, so with any luck the company will take care of them before we run into any members,” Zack said while his fingers played with Cloud’s. As long as they were careful about what jobs they took, they should hopefully be fine.  
  
Then Zack asked what Cloud had been up to during the evening, and if Aerith had stayed for long. “She stayed for a while, yeah. We took a little walk, which was nice. And… she's tasked me with taking care of the flowerbed for her while we’re staying here,” Cloud said, and Zack couldn’t stop himself from putting Cloud’s doubtful expression into words. “They’re gonna wilt,” Zack laughed, and yelped when Cloud poked him in the ribs in well deserved retaliation. “She showed me what to do, it’s not rocket science. Said I should consider it as my first job, as rent for us staying here,” Cloud continued as he got comfortable on his very own personal Zack-pillow again. Zack still wore a far too amused grin as his hand returned to caressing along his boyfriend’s back. “I’m sure you’ll do great. I remember her saying her flowers are very resilient; besides, she’ll help you if you ask,” Zack assured with a smile. Cloud nodded with a soft smile of his own, and reached up with his free hand to brush his fingers through Zack’s long, black hair, while their other hands still had their fingers linked. Neither of them wanted to let go just yet.  
  
The touch to his hair alone had Zack closing his eyes in almost blissful comfort - he really was the luckiest person on the planet. Despite all the odds, he had his boyfriend - his _other half_ \- with him again, which was something he honestly couldn’t be more grateful for. He kept thinking about it, internally repeatedly thanking whatever higher power that had returned Cloud to him.  
  
“But overall it sounds like you and Aerith had a better go at getting to know each other this time, right?” Zack asked after a few minutes of comfortable silence, his eyes opening again to look up at Cloud, who hummed affirmatively. “I was less awkward this time, so that made it easier to open up. Actually… she reminds me a lot of you,” Cloud said with a thoughtful look. “Oh yeah? How so?” Zack asked, raising an eyebrow curiously, and he waited patiently while Cloud seemed to gather his thoughts. “You both have this… special, positive energy, for the lack of a better description. She comes across as a people person, just like you. It’s not often I feel this relaxed around someone new this soon. With you I actually never once felt awkward, even though I crushed pretty hard on you even before our first mission. You and I just, I dunno, clicked? But it feels the same with Aerith, I find it easy to talk to her,” Cloud obviously tried his best to explain, and it was a relief to Zack that Cloud felt as comfortable around her as well. Aerith had always been a close friend to him, and knowing that she and Cloud were able to connect was important to him.  
  
Still, Zack couldn’t stop himself from teasing Cloud just a little more. “‘The same’, eh? Should I feel jealous?” he asked with a teasing grin, which earned him a tug on his hair this time. “I didn’t mean it like _that_ , idiot,” Cloud corrected, but he let Zack’s laughter melt his playful frown into a smile, and his fingers returned to combing through Zack’s soft hair.  
  
“Really, though, I’m happy you two get along. It means a lot to me,” Zack said once he stopped laughing, a sincere smile on his lips. “But you said you went for a walk, right? Think you’re up for walking down to the train station? I’ve seen this noodle soup place there that I’ve been wanting to try sometime. We can take breaks on the way whenever you need,” he asked then. The station was a little walk away, but it would give Cloud’s legs some good exercise, and it would be a nice change of scenery for his boyfriend as well. And Cloud seemed happy with the suggestion as he agreed, but caught one more kiss from Zack’s lips before he moved to stand up and get ready to leave.   
  
Zack had originally planned a quiet evening at home, but now he would much rather go out for a nice dinner with Cloud. To him, a ‘nice dinner’ wasn’t necessarily having something fancy to eat - it was more about sharing quality time with Cloud, and them enjoying a meal together while they talked about everything and nothing. He was determined to make up for all the time they had lost, wanting to enjoy each and every moment they had together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Twitter @tonberryjan


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Cloud visit the Gainsborough family, but first Cloud has to come to a realisation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to TheBlackMorals for taking the time to beta read this!

A week after they first settled into the church as their temporary home, Zack and Cloud decided to move their living space to one of the upper floors to make themselves more at home.  
  
Cloud’s recovery was going at a steady pace. He could walk more steadily now, and longer distances, without straining his legs too much. They figured it was thanks to all his exercise in combination with the mako, and the ‘powers’ Aerith insisted the church had. Cloud still had a long way ahead of him, but his progress was good. His ultimate goal was to be able to fight alongside Zack, so they could start taking on bigger mercenary jobs, and for that he worked hard.  
  
As they looked around the available rooms on the upper floor, they eventually found a place they could make their new living space. They could probably start searching for an actual apartment now as they had originally planned, and had even discussed it just the previous day, but they had ended up agreeing to stay in the church a little longer. There was hardly anything speaking against it - they both had plenty of space downstairs for training and working out; the shower in the old priest’s quarters functioned again after they had somehow managed to fix it a few days ago; the rent was practically free, only consisting of taking care of the flowers. Also, something about the church apparently helped Cloud’s recovery, and they were hidden from Shinra. Well, almost. The only downside was that Tseng, one of Shinra’s Turks, knew that they were here, but on the other hand, Zack and Cloud knew the knowledge of their whereabouts was safe with Tseng for now. They would move out eventually, but not just yet.  
  
Now that they had chosen a room, Zack and Cloud made a start on cleaning it. While Zack busied himself on one side of the room with the heavier furniture that was stacked together, Cloud tackled the other side where smaller, miscellaneous items were gathered. Most of it would end up in one of the other rooms, to make space in this one, and considering the mess there, they had quite the task ahead of them. Luckily it was only late morning, though, and they practically had all day before they would need to leave for Aerith’s home later in the afternoon. Over the past week, her mother, Elmyra, had insisted ‘the boys’ at least eat regular warm meals, so it became customary for Zack and Cloud to visit the small Gainsborough family for dinner.  
  
“I’ll bring some of these out,” Zack said as he picked up a small shelf that was to be stowed away in another room, while Cloud finished cleaning dust off the chairs he had found. Glancing over to see what Zack meant, Cloud hummed his acknowledgement, then turned his attention to the fabric hanging off of something leaning against the wall next to him. He coughed as he was hit by a dust cloud the moment he pulled the fabric away, and threw it over the frame of the nearby open window. “You okay there?” he heard Zack call from the other room, where it sounded like Zack was reorganising things to make space for more clutter. “Yeah, just whirled up some dust,” Cloud called back, and looked at what he had just unveiled.  
  
The fabric had hidden a full length mirror, and for the first time in five long years, Cloud saw his own reflection. He had subconsciously avoided looking into the mirrors at Aerith’s home - he knew he was still sick, and part of him had been afraid of what he would see if he saw his reflection. Of course another part of him had been curious as to how much he might have changed over those five years, but the scared part had simply been stronger. Now that he accidentally stood in front of a mirror, Cloud was frozen in place, and he had no other choice but to see what had become of him.  
  
There were so many changes, Cloud didn’t know which one to notice, or focus on first. He _definitely_ looked older, thinner - gone was the 16 year old teenager with larger-than-life ambitions. Gone was his idolisation of SOLDIER, something his 16 year old self had been ambitioned to join, even after having found out that his body wouldn’t be able to handle the medical procedures it required to actually become a SOLDIER. Looking back from his reflection was a young man, who had gone through toxic treatments for four long years that had left his body poisoned.  
  
And now that Cloud focused on his eyes, he felt conflicted as to how he should feel…  
  
Part of him, the innocent teenager that was still present in him, almost felt a strange sense of excitement. _SOLDIERs_ have mako eyes, just like the ones he had now, too. He might not have been formally enrolled into the SOLDIER program, but now, with a little work, he could be _like_ one of them, right?  
  
The other part of him, though, had been forced to mature too much and too quickly through what had happened over the past five years. These mako eyes had come at an incredibly high price, one that Cloud hadn’t actually _wanted_ to pay, and there was no real guarantee that he could actually work his way towards being like a SOLDIER - like Zack. Rationally speaking, mako eyes only meant the person had been infused with mako, nothing more. Mako junkies had these eyes as well, right? And four years in Hojo’s lab had given the mad professor plenty of time to potentially mess up Cloud’s body enough that it would remain in the weakened state that it was in now. That thought alone sent a cold chill of dread down Cloud’s spine.  
  
Since regaining his consciousness, Cloud had sometimes caught Zack looking thoughtful, almost sad when Zack obviously hadn’t thought Cloud would look - but whenever Zack noticed he was being watched, he would snap back to his usual happy self, and easily brush it off when Cloud asked about it. Now that Cloud saw himself, and with the thought that he might never fully recover, he wondered if Zack had the same concerns… Was _Cloud_ the reason for whatever sad thoughts Zack might be hiding? Did Zack know more about Cloud’s current state, and was trying to protect him from the truth? Cloud decided that next time, he definitely wouldn’t let his boyfriend off the hook when he caught Zack with that look.  
  
Cloud was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t hear Zack talking to him as he reentered the room, and he was only pulled back to the present when he felt Zack embracing him from behind. “You okay?” Zack asked quietly in their close proximity, and Cloud looked up to see his boyfriend’s reflection in the mirror while his hands reached up to rest on Zack’s arms. It took Cloud a moment to gather his thoughts before he spoke. “Have I changed since we escaped the lab?” he asked - ‘improved’ might have been a better word to use, but in his mindset he felt it was too positive a word right then.  
  
“Yeah, you have,” Zack confirmed without hesitation, then elaborated, “But I think most of it actually happened recently, since you woke up. You already look healthier than before - honestly!” Zack assured when he saw Cloud’s sceptic expression in the mirror. “Before you woke up, there was only so much I could do to help you make it through the mako poisoning, but since you came 'round, you’ve been able to work on your recovery yourself. And you and Aerith said something about this church helping you, too, right?” Zack asked, which Cloud confirmed with a nod. “Then there’s also Elmyra’s cooking, and the fact that you’re able to exercise. Really, you’ve visibly improved so much already, and I’m sure you’ll get even better,” Zack concluded with a smile, then turned his head to press an affectionate kiss to the side of Cloud’s head. He also nuzzled the soft, blonde hair with his lips, which earned him a small smile from Cloud.  
  
They stayed like that for a moment longer, both just taking comfort in each other’s closeness, before Zack reluctantly moved away, to continue working on clearing the room. Cloud contemplated his boyfriend’s words a little longer as he, too, returned to work. Now that he thought about it, he realised that there were more things proving that he was improving. After all, he was walking a lot better now than just over a week ago, right? And he was also helping Zack clean out a room for them to use as their new living space, for however long they decided to stay in the church. And not only had his legs regained some strength, but his arms, too. Having seen himself now, he _looked_ sicker than he actually felt, so maybe… maybe the future didn't look so bleak after all?   
  
Cloud didn’t want to hold on to false hope, but he figured that perhaps he should take Zack’s attitude as an example and try to be a bit more positive going forward.  
  


* * *

  
By the afternoon, Zack and Cloud were done clearing and cleaning the room for the most part. Everything they wouldn’t need was stacked away in one of the other rooms on the same floor, and they even found a bed frame in another room that they were able to set up in their new room. It fit the mattress they had brought up from downstairs, which helped to make the room feel more like ‘home’. On the other side of the room they left a cupboard for their few cooking utensils, a small table, as well as two chairs. The full length mirror, too, was allowed to remain in the room.  
  
After the furniture and the floor were cleaned, they took a shower together before they had to get ready to set out for Aerith’s house.  
  


* * *

  
A few days before, Zack had given Cloud a Fire and Wind materia in a Titanium Bangle, and had taught him how to safely use them for attacking and self defence. There was always the possibility of monsters attacking them on the way between the church and Aerith’s home, after all, so as long as Cloud couldn’t fight with a physical weapon of his own, he could at least offer Zack ranged magic assistance.  
  
And so, with both equipped with their respective weapons, Zack and Cloud made it to the residential area of the Sector 5 slums. Or, they almost did - right outside the area, three men who certainly looked like trouble partially blocked off the way. The obvious leader of the thugs stepped forward with a confident swagger as if he owned the sector, and a matching smirk. “You that new merc we heard of?” he asked Zack, seeming to take the big sword on his back as a giveaway. “Go on ahead,” Zack told Cloud quietly, ignoring the question. He and Cloud were a team, but at the moment Zack wanted a slums gang to pay as little attention as possible to Cloud - at least until Zack could assess them better. And thankfully Cloud only gave a small nod before he walked past the strangers, who in turn didn’t make a move to stop him.  
  
“I might be? Who’s asking?” Zack then asked the leader nonchalantly, entirely unimpressed by the show these strangers were trying to put on. The other man took that answer as a ‘yes’. “Our boss said he could occasionally do with some ‘hired muscle’, and you seem to be just the guy. A lil’ bodyguard work here, a ‘special delivery’ there, maybe containing a monster or two. Fair pay, too. Whaddya say?”  
  
 _Containing monsters…?_ Zack considered it for a moment; the jobs sounded easy enough, though he had no illusions that a _special delivery_ from their boss wasn’t exactly legal. He knew that type of person, but he wasn’t worried. “‘Kay, I’m in,” Zack finally agreed.  
  
“Wise choice, brother. Beggars can’t be choosers, amirite?” the leader asked with a grin, poking Zack’s chest almost provocatively. If the guy was trying to sound threatening with his ‘wise choice’ statement, it wasn’t working, and Zack merely crossed his arms in front of his chest to effectively stop the poking. “Huh? I dunno about beggars, but I sure can be. So where can I find your boss?” The guy, who was almost a head shorter than Zack, smirked as he seemed pleased with Zack’s confident attitude. “You can usually find me in Wall Market, I’ll be your contact. Drop by from time to time, we’ll find you,” the man said, seemingly placated now that the deal was made.  
  
Zack let the men turn to leave for Sector 6 before he followed along, all the while keeping an eye on them, just to be on the safe side. One could never know with Sector 6 gangs. His attention was quickly swayed, though, when he saw Cloud step out from around a corner, and a natural smile tugged up the corners of Zack’s lips as he saw that his boyfriend was safe.  
  
Having pegged those strangers as troublemakers, Cloud had waited just around the corner, ready to set fire to their arses the moment they tried to pull a stunt on Zack. Cloud wondered what kind of guy their boss was, which then also made him more curious about Wall Market; was the place full of guys like these thugs? He only knew of Wall Market as an entertainment district - one that offered not only fairly innocent, but also illegal and red light entertainment, all in one place.  
  
As Zack and Cloud continued the short distance to Aerith’s house, Zack spoke up again. “Hey Cloud, think I should try an undercut like that guy just now?” he asked with a grin, clearly joking, and he laughed heartily at Cloud’s immediate “ _No_.” Cloud looked up at his boyfriend then, actually taking a moment to try to imagine Zack with an undercut; maybe with the top hair tied back, or flipped over to one side. Cloud shook his head. “Knowing you, it’d probably look good on you, but nope, your hair’s perfect the way it is,” he added, and he couldn’t help but smile again when Zack flashed him one of his trademark bright grins at the compliment.  
  
They briefly stopped at the Leaf House on their way, to say hello to Ms. Folia and the kids, whom Zack and Cloud had gotten to know better and had occasionally helped out over the past days. Zack naturally adored kids, and while Cloud was a little more reserved around kids in general, surprisingly enough he seemed to be as much of a magnet for them as Zack was. Cloud didn’t _dislike_ kids, he was just a little awkward around them, though he was warming up nicely to the orphans of the Leaf House.  
  
“Is there any type of person you _don’t_ get along with?” Cloud asked curiously once he and Zack continued the final stretch towards their end destination. He knew Zack was a people person, a prime example of a ‘social butterfly’ - so unlike Cloud himself. Cloud had yet to personally see Zack really falling out with someone, or avoiding a personality type; he didn’t count Genesis and Sephiroth, as Zack had been on friendly terms with them before things had turned bad. Zack had gotten along amazingly with his peers in the military, had even had tons of admirers throughout the ranks, was loved by kids, was on good terms with the Turks, and he even dealt well with gang members, it seemed.  
  
Zack seemed to think about the question for a moment. “I dunno. I mean, there _are_ people I don’t like, but I still try to treat them the same as anybody else. I don’t wanna be treated like a lesser person, so I try to… set an example? And I’ve just always been kinda naturally able to read and adjust to different personality types. That’s totally something that can be learnt, by the way,” Zack chuckled as he nudged Cloud’s arm with his own as they crossed one of the small wooden bridges in Aerith’s garden. “I think I’ll leave any major socialising up to you,” Cloud declined with a wave of his hand, but Zack’s answer made him smile softly nonetheless. Wanting to set an example by treating other people well was just such a 'Zack’ thing to say.  
  


* * *

  
Dinner with Aerith and her mother had become customary over the past few days, and was something they all looked forward to. Aerith could rest assured that Zack and Cloud were eating healthy, Elmyra enjoyed the house being more lively for a few hours a day, and Zack and Cloud could never say no to Elmyra’s cooking. In addition to helping with the shopping, food preparation and the doing dishes, the couple also readily helped around the house however they could.  
  
As Elmyra filled the sink with water after dinner, she watched through the window as Zack helped Aerith with relocating some of the heavier planters in the garden. A few years ago she had been angry at her daughter’s SOLDIER friend for disappearing on the girl without any notice. She remembered how sad and hurt Aerith had been at the time - not to mention the unrequited crush the young girl had had on him for a while. Elmyra would probably still have felt that anger now, had Aerith not suddenly turned up with said friend, Zack, around two weeks ago. She had since then learnt that five years ago a mission had gone wrong, which had left Zack and his partner badly injured and unable to return to Midgar until recently. And then that ‘partner’ had turned out to be Zack’s _boyfriend_.  
  
To say that Elmyra had been surprised that Zack, whom she had already met all those years ago, was together with another man was an understatement. She wasn’t used to same-sex relationships, so at first she hadn’t been sure what to make of the information. Had it changed her opinion of Zack? No. It didn’t make him a different person compared to how she had known him before his disappearance. Elmyra had admittedly felt a little awkward in the beginning when Zack and his boyfriend, Cloud, had visited the house for the first time together, but she had quickly taken a liking to the young man. He was quiet, polite, and despite his health obviously not being well yet, he helped however he could around the house. Over the past few days she had often wondered what had happened to Zack and Cloud that they had been so badly injured and unable to return to Midgar sooner, and that Cloud still seemed to struggle with his recovery. She wanted to ask, but she also felt like it wasn’t something for her to pry about. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Cloud approached with a kitchen towel.  
  
“Elmyra, you know how to sew, right?” Cloud asked as he began to dry the first dish that Elmyra finished washing. This was something he had thought about over the past few days, after he had first seen a sewing machine upstairs. “I do, it’s a useful skill to have,” she confirmed as she continued washing the dishes. Cloud hummed in agreement, but kept quiet for a moment or two while he took the next item to dry. “Would you mind teaching me?” he finally asked, and noticed her looking at him with what seemed to be genuine, yet positive surprise. “You want to learn sewing?” Elmyra asked, and Cloud gave an almost awkward nod. “You said it yourself, it’s a useful skill. I can’t support Zack’s mercenary work much just yet, at least not with jobs that mainly involve using weapons, so I want to make myself useful in another way. Maybe I can make or customise casual and work clothes; something that doesn’t hinder us in battle,” he explained, and relaxed again when Elmyra offered him an understanding smile. “Alright, I’ll teach you. We can start tomorrow, if you like. But be warned, I’m a strict teacher,” she said, and Cloud nodded his understanding with a soft smile of his own before they returned their attention to the dishes.  
  
Cloud remembered his mother had tried to teach him to sew once, not long before he had left home to join Shinra. “ _It’s a useful skill_ ,” that had been the same thing his mother had said at the time - “ _You should at least know how to patch something up._ ” After he had pricked himself with the needle a few times, he had pouted and stopped trying. Looking back now, Cloud wished that he had been more determined to learn this valuable lesson from his mother, because that chance was long gone now.  
  
As he continued his task in comfortable silence, Cloud contemplated a few similarities between his mother and Elmyra. Both women had raised a single child on their own, both had this natural ‘homely kindness’, and both could - apparently - be strict teachers. Cloud missed his mother, but he found a sense of comfort in Elmyra, one that the teenager in him still needed. Of course nobody would ever be able to replace his own mother and her importance to him, but he could allow himself this little comfort. Now he had a new family with Zack, whom his mother had met and instantly liked, and in a way Aerith also felt part of their little family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on Twitter @tonberryjan


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud meets an old friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!

A couple of weeks later, Cloud’s health was already a lot better than he and Zack would have expected. They concluded that the mako, healthy nutrition, and the ‘church’s powers’ - as they simply called it - had given the effects of his exercise a great boost. One day they had made two wooden versions of Zack’s Buster Sword to start training together - it had actually been a project they had done with some of the children from the Leaf House, in which the kids had made their own, downscaled wooden Busters Swords to ‘patrol’ the village. With each handling of the wooden weapon Cloud became more secure in his movements, and that little bit stronger. And it had turned out that not only Elmyra was a strict sewing teacher - Zack certainly didn’t cut Cloud any slack during their training sessions, either. It had admittedly been a bit of a surprise to Cloud in the beginning, but it definitely wasn’t a bad thing. They were training to kill and not be killed in the process, so it was only right to be completely focused and precise with each technique.

Eventually they decided that Cloud was ready to start taking on jobs that required a little more actual fighting, which they could handle together. He had already been taking jobs that didn’t necessarily require fighting, but it was time to step it up. The perfect opportunity for this arose when someone in Sector 6 requested that they hunt down a small group of monsters that had raided her home the other day. The monsters had been seen in Sector 7 a lot, and with that being their best lead, Zack and Cloud made their way to the yet unfamiliar sector. Knowing there was a weapon trader in the village, they chose to take the chance to see his wares, and to find a sword for Cloud.

Out of the two of them, Zack was by far the better choice to use his natural charm on the trader for a hopefully good deal, so they decided that Cloud would wait outside. Not that Cloud minded, he would much rather observe a few minutes of everyday life in Sector 7 while he stood outside the trader’s shop than try to haggle. In some ways it was very similar to Sector 5, with kids running around, people going about their own businesses. One thing that seemed most different, though, was the fact that far more people carried all kinds of close- and far-ranged weapons with them here in Sector 7. He had heard that there were far more monsters prowling around this area, and something about a ‘Neighborhood Watch’. He wondered if all these armed people were part of this ‘Watch’, when someone pulled him from his thoughts.

“Cloud?” a woman’s voice asked in surprise as she approached him, and when Cloud turned his attention to her, he couldn’t believe his eyes. “Tifa?! But how-?” He was at a loss for words. He remembered the last time he had seen her, she had been injured by Sephiroth inside the Nibelheim Reactor. He didn’t know if Shinra had taken her and other possible survivors that day to a hospital - he didn’t actually know about anything that had happened after he and Zack had been taken away. He had often wondered about her fate over the past weeks, but now he had Tifa standing right before him, seemingly in good health.

Tifa, too, wouldn’t have expected running into her old childhood friend here in the slums. Topside, maybe, considering the last she had heard was that Cloud had left for Midgar to become a SOLDIER. And at first glance he seemed to have made it, given his mako eyes that SOLDIERs were famous for. She had personally seen those same eyes on two others from the elite unit before. But surely a SOLDIER wouldn’t be casually standing around in the slums, would they? The thought of the elite unit left a sour taste with her, but still, she was no less happy about this sudden run-in. “I’m so happy to see you, Cloud, it’s been so long! How have you been? What are you doing down here? I thought you’re in-...” she trailed off when she saw another familiar person exit the weapon store to join them. “ _Zack_?!” she frowned, not exactly happy to see _him_ \- Zack had been friendly with Sephiroth, Sephiroth had burnt down her village and killed her father. Maybe they had even been in on the plan together, for all she knew. She vaguely remembered seeing him at the reactor, after Sephiroth had struck her down. She had thought that Zack had died in Nibelheim as well, or at least been taken into custody by Shinra, but apparently that wasn’t the case - or maybe he was set free?

This entire situation felt a little surreal even to Zack - just a moment ago he had managed to get a neat deal on an Iron Blade, and now he found himself being glared at by his boyfriend’s childhood friend whom Zack had last seen five years ago, badly injured. “How did you get out of the reactor?” Cloud finally asked her, which seemed to confuse Tifa. Zack remembered that Cloud had been too embarrassed to reveal himself as the infantryman to anybody other than his mother back in Nibelheim, so it was no surprise that Tifa didn’t understand. “I think it’d be best if we go somewhere to talk,” Zack offered to hopefully ease the confusion through some necessary explanations - the monsters that he and Cloud were supposed to be hunting could wait a little longer. She nodded, offering her bar that was just around the corner, though she still gave Zack another stink eye before she turned to lead the way. This was going to be one hell of a talk…

On the way to the bar, the Seventh Heaven, Zack gave Cloud the new sword, and within just a few minutes they entered the wooden building. “So, Cloud, did you two meet in SOLDIER? Before or after our home was burnt to the ground?” Tifa asked her old friend directly while she began to mix some drinks, sending Zack another brief glare, and despite the bite in her words, Cloud saw the anger and hurt in her eyes. Finally it dawned on him why she kept giving Zack those looks, and he shook his head. Zack thankfully kept quiet as he took the stool next to Cloud in front of the bar.

“I think there are a few misunderstandings. I… didn’t make it into SOLDIER, but I met Zack on a mission a few months after I joined the military. We were actually both on the Nibelheim mission when Sephiroth went nutso - Sephiroth learnt something about his origins inside the Shinra Mansion, and that made him snap. Zack and I fought him at the reactor. And we’re not even with Shinra anymore, we’re trying to make it as mercenaries now. It’s a long story…” Cloud said uneasily, very briefly summarising the main topics, then thanked Tifa when she put glasses containing red coloured drinks down in front of him and Zack. He wanted to set the major incidents straight to ease her tension before explaining anything in more detail. “Huh? You were-- But I didn’t see you there. Why didn’t you say you were in Nibelheim?” she asked surprised, though before Cloud could answer, someone else entered the bar.

“Hey Tifa, you seen Jessie anywhere?” a man asked, and when Cloud turned a bit on his stool, he saw a heavy-set, very muscular man with a gun strapped to where his right arm should be, and dark sunglasses hiding his eyes. Typically the type to be intimidating at first glance, but Cloud knew not to judge a book by its cover. The man noticed Zack and Cloud, and seemed to take an immediate interest in the swords they were carrying.

“Jessie said she had some, uhm, chores to run today, she’ll drop by this evening,” Tifa said, and noticed the man’s interest in her two ‘guests’ as well. “Ah, this is Cloud, an old friend of mine from my hometown - and his friend Zack. They’re mercenaries,” she introduced them, and though she still wasn’t completely swayed about Zack, she wanted to trust Cloud’s statement. Though she would also insist on hearing a full explanation later, once the three of them were alone again. For now, she turned her attention to the pair. “And this is Barret, a close friend. He helped me get started after I arrived in Midgar,” she continued the introductions.

“Mercs, eh?” Barret said, thoughtfully stroking his trimmed beard for a moment, and sat on the stool next to Cloud. “You sure ‘bout that? Those are some mako eyes, if I ain’t mistaken. I smell _Shinra_.” Something about this entire situation made Cloud highly uncomfortable, and he wished he could just grab Zack’s hand and leave the bar. Preferably also Sector 7 - he had felt this discomfort ever since they had set foot into the sector. He was aware that Shinra wasn’t particularly popular in parts of the slums, for good reason, but luckily Zack picked up the conversation with this anti-Shinra guy. “Ex-military, we left. We had to lay low for a while, but now that we’re back in Midgar, we’ve decided to use our fighting skills for hired work,” Zack explained, and it wasn’t exactly a lie.

“That so?” Barret asked then, and seemed to be thinking for another moment. “Well, some inside knowledge might be good… Look, I don’t quite trust you two, but if Tifa does, I’m willing to give y’all a real chance here. It’ll be for the greater good of the planet, after all!” Barret said, almost boasted with ‘goodwill’ that made Cloud’s skin crawl unpleasantly. Cloud thought that he might regret asking this, but… “What are you talking about?” he asked with a small frown, though rather than actually wanting to hear more, he wanted nothing more than to leave. He and Zack still had to talk to Tifa, though, so he had little choice but to sit through this.

“Mako is the lifeblood of our world. The planet bleeds green like you and me bleed red. And Shinra’s out there, sucking the planet dry while it’s crying out in _pain_! It’s slowly _dying’_ , and it’s the job of _every single one_ of us to take those Shinra bastards down - for the sake of the _planet_!“ Barret ranted, gradually getting more and more worked up throughout his small rant. At the same time, a sudden, low throbbing headache in the back of Cloud’s head with a slight sense of nausea caught him off guard, but he tried not to outwardly show it. Thankfully it already slowly began to ebb off again once Barret stopped his rant.

“... So. You in? The pay’ll be good,” Barret half asked, half demanded after an extended moment of awkward silence following his words. “Uhm…” Zack began hesitantly at the same time as Cloud gave a flat out “Nope,” neither of which Barret seemed to appreciate, and he demanded to know why. “We’ve been through too much while trying to get away from Shinra. We didn’t come back to Midgar just to jump onto their chopping block,” Cloud said - after all, Zack had risked everything to get them both into safety, and had almost died in the process.

“Say _what_?! You call yourself a military man? _I_ say you’re a selfish coward. Still a loyal Shinra mutt, eh?” Barret taunted, but before Cloud could react, Zack dropped his arm around Cloud’s shoulders in a buddily manner. “Thanks for the offer, we’ll think about it. Of course we care about the planet, but it’s a big job, y’know,” Zack said with a smile, letting his charm play to avoid Cloud and Barret getting into an actual fight, if the tension in Cloud’s body was anything to go by. He squeezed his boyfriend’s shoulder a bit with his arm when he saw Cloud frowning at him in the corner of his eye. “Good idea, jobs like that should be discussed!” Tifa added quickly, and Zack smiled at her in silent thanks for the support.

Cloud hadn’t had his anger riled up this easily in a long time - he could ignore being called a selfish coward, but loyal to Shinra? After everything that had happened to him and Zack because of the company? But as quickly as Barret pushed his buttons, Zack just as easily diffused those feelings. Only a small irritation remained lingering when Zack pulled his arm back again, and Cloud crossed his arms in front of his chest. “You always hung out with idiot kids,” he muttered to Tifa with a small, defiant frown still on his face. “Say that agai--” Barret began to challenge Cloud, but he was cut off by Tifa. “And you always picked up fights with others,” she said to her old friend with a good natured smile, to which both Cloud and Barret huffed. She made a point that Cloud couldn’t argue with. Zack, who already knew the stories of ill tempered teen-Cloud, looked far too amused about their exchange.

“Oh right, Barret. Wymer asked for you, I think he needs to discuss some new plans for the Watch,” Tifa said then to quickly change the subject, and Barret cast one last gruff look towards Zack and Cloud before he took his leave. “Finally,” Cloud sighed as the tension in the bar immediately began to clear the moment Barret left. He knew the tension was mostly caused between him and Barret, and he hoped they wouldn’t have to meet again anytime soon. “I’m sorry, he’s actually a good guy. Really! You should see how sweet he is when he talks to his little daughter,” Tifa said, earning a doubtful look from Cloud. “But don’t worry about him now. So, about what you said earlier… Why didn’t you say anything when you were in Nibelheim?” she asked then, leaning on the bar with an expectant look.

Cloud shifted a bit on his stool, and finally reached out for the glass to take a sip - stalling an answer, he knew. He made a bit of a face at the unexpectedly strong alcohol in the drink, something he wasn’t used to. He had had the occasional drink with some of his squad mates back in the day - illegally, considering their age at the time - but that had been years ago.

“Do you remember the soldier who stopped you from entering the reactor after Zack and Sephiroth entered?” Cloud finally asked, and Tifa gave a slight nod that she remembered. “Yeah, that was me. I’d left home to join SOLDIER, but in the end I wasn’t cut out for it, and remained in the infantry. That’s why I was too embarrassed to admit failure when we arrived in Nibelheim for that mission…” A brief silence followed Cloud’s admission, and Tifa shook her head with a sigh. “Idiot. Not making it into SOLDIER is nothing to be embarrassed about,” she said gently, and Cloud nodded his head in agreement. He knew that now, but as a teenager it had been a completely different story.

“Did you… go to see your mother, at least?” Tifa asked then, and Cloud gave another nod. “In the evening after we arrived. I wanted her to meet Zack,” he said, before another short silence fell. Hidden from her by the bar, he felt Zack’s hand coming to rest on his leg in silent support, and Cloud moved his hand on top of his boyfriend’s, giving it a soft squeeze. Zack always seemed to know exactly what to do or say to comfort him, no matter how small the gesture might be. “How did you get out of the reactor? Did Shinra…?” he asked, not needing to finish his question for her to understand as she shook her head.

“Zangan took me away before Shinra got there, he healed me so I was stable to get to Midgar for better medical attention,” Tifa said, knowing that her old martial arts teacher had talked to Zack and ‘a soldier’ before the incident. But now she remembered her mentor also saying how he had met Zack again during the fire, and that he had been sane, unlike Sephiroth. That memory, and Cloud’s insistence that Zack had actually fought _against_ Sephiroth, finally made her feel guilty for how she had treated him earlier. “Zangan said he saw ‘the other SOLDIER boy’ and one from the infantry inside the reactor in a pretty bad shape, but he couldn’t get them out in time before Shinra arrived. Until now, I thought they - no, you both died, or maybe had been taken into custody for what had happened that day. All these years I was so full of hate for Shinra and SOLDIER… Zack, I’m so sorry. For being suspicious of you. I should’ve gotten the facts straight first,” she apologised to Zack ruefully and heartfelt.

Zack could see the sincerity in Tifa, and to him it was a relief that his case was cleared. “Don’t worry, I get it. We’re good,” he assured her with a smile, which she returned. He remembered her to be a bit bratty back in Nibelheim, but she seemed to have grown out of that attitude. He had also seen none of it during her interaction with Barret earlier. The whole atmosphere in the bar felt a lot easier now.

“You said earlier that you left Shinra, but why did you have to lay low? What happened after they arrived at the reactor?” Tifa asked then, and Cloud shifted on his stool again. “It’s… We--...” he began, clearly too uncomfortable, if not increasingly anxious to talk about it with someone other than Zack. Giving Cloud’s leg a soft squeeze, Zack answered for him. “We left their medical facility in Nibelheim, they had one set up inside Shinra Mansion,” he said, and again it wasn’t technically a lie. He barely knew Tifa, so he, too, wasn’t entirely comfortable with telling her the full story. He hadn’t even told Kunsel the whole story, having left most of it up for interpretation - only Aerith knew what had actually happened inside Hojo’s lab.

“But yeah, that’s why we won’t take this job that Barret offered. Having been involved with SOLDIER and highly classified missions over the years, we know too many Shinra secrets - if their military finds us, we’re done for. A group of eco-terrorists going against Shinra’s might isn’t really worth the risk for us,” Zack said then, carefully watching for Tifa’s reaction as he mentioned AVALANCHE in a roundabout way. She seemed surprised, like she was found out. “Barret belongs to this AVALANCHE cell, right?” he continued. Kunsel had warned him and Cloud of an active cell stirring up trouble in the slums, and even Tseng had told them to keep their heads down and stay out of Shinra’s radar. He had seen more AVALANCHE posters here in Sector 7 than anywhere else, and Barret’s words earlier certainly weren’t subtle. “We both do… Barret’s our leader,” Tifa admitted reluctantly as she avoided looking either of them directly in the eyes, and while Zack had figured that was the case, Cloud seemed more surprised.

“Seriously? I know you hate Shinra, but AVALANCHE as a whole organisation has been on Shinra’s shitlist for _years_ ,” Cloud said with a frown, naturally worried for Tifa’s safety more than Barret’s. “I know, but…” she trailed off when Cloud shook his head. “I don’t think you do. Shinra will play dirty, Tifa, and they’ll crush you. They’ve built an empire, one little group won’t stop them. You should leave AVALANCHE while you can,” he said, and he could see that she was thinking about his words. Eventually, though, she shook her head. “It’s not that simple. But I’ll think about it,” she said, but something in her voice sounded like she had already made up her mind to stay.

Seeing no point in pushing the matter more at the moment, Cloud just gave a slight nod before he turned to Zack. “Should we go take care of that hunt?” he asked, to which Zack agreed with a smile. As they said their goodbyes to Tifa, she offered that they can come visit her anytime, and that she would be happy to catch up some more. Cloud just wished they could meet in the middle, maybe somewhere in Sector 6 - he still felt weirdly uncomfortable here in Sector 7, and couldn’t wait to get the hunt over and done with.

* * *

“So Cloud, how does the sword feel?” Zack asked after the hunt as they walked back towards Sector 6 to collect their bounty, while Cloud drank a potion. Cloud had had a few slip ups during the fight, but at this point it was still to be expected, and those slips hadn’t been too dangerous. Still, he could see some worry in Zack’s eyes, which surely would only ease once the potion did its thing. “Great, it’s a good sword. You said something about a good deal, right? Let your charm play?” he asked, and Zack’s cheeky grin was all the answer that he needed. “The merchant liked the idea of local mercs showing off his weapons. Figured it’s good publicity, so we got a good price,” Zack explained, clearly proud of himself for getting such a bargain, and it had Cloud smiling affectionately - such were Zack’s social skills.

Cloud already felt better, more at ease now that they were back in Sector 6. It was strange, but he figured it wasn’t worth putting too much thought into this difference. Maybe he was just having an off day. Next time they went to see Tifa, he would most likely feel better. As he thought about her now, after a comfortable silence settled between him and Zack again, something suddenly occurred to him. “Tifa’s changed a bit, hasn’t she?” he asked, and Zack hummed in thought. “I guess so? She’s an adult now. Personality wise you’d know best, I didn’t get to know her well enough in the short amount of time we had with her in Nibelheim,” Zack offered, and Cloud nodded his agreement.

“Remember that first nightmare I had a while ago?” Cloud asked then, and Zack confirmed that he did. “Tifa was in it, right? At some train station. I think she looked the same as she does now,” Cloud continued thoughtfully. “Huh? Really?” Zack asked in surprise, and Cloud gave a small nod. “I _think_ so. But… maybe she just looked similar, and I’m remembering it wrong. It’s all a little blurry. That’s probably it,” he concluded with a slight shrug. It had just been a stupid nightmare, Zack walking alongside him at this very moment was the best proof. A hand landed on top of his head, returning his focus to the present, and as Cloud looked up, he found Zack grinning back at him before ruffling his hair. “C’mon, we’re almost there,” Zack said, and leant down for a kiss before they were surrounded by people again. Cloud happily returned the kiss that finally had a new, soft smile curl at the corners of his lips before they rounded the corner, into the busier part of the sector.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm sorry for the delay. Sometimes life happens, but the next chapter shouldn't keep you waiting so long again.
> 
> This chapter wasn't beta-read aside from my own 92385293 re-reads, which I'm a bit nervous about, but here it is. If someone has the time and interest to beta with me, I'd be incredibly thankful. |D
> 
> As always, you can find me on twitter @tonberryjan


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